Eighteen
by stellaasuna28
Summary: AU. Sakura is a princess of the kingdom of Konoha. The Queen enlists the help of Hatake Kakashi to train her daughter in the ninja arts. Over the years, teacher and student form a strong bond, only to be broken when Kakashi leaves on a mission and doesn't return. Sakura must grow up and take her place as queen, but how can she move on without the man she'd grown to love?
1. Chapter 1

Eighteen

"Happy Birthday," Kakashi said, slipping a small package wrapped in brown paper into Sakura's lap.

"Stupid," She said smiling, "It's not till next week."

"Well I'll be gone next week so open it now," Kakashi drawled lazily, returning to his book. They were sitting in her favorite garden, the one just below her bedroom. He was sitting on the ground with his back against the bench she was stretched out on, trying to catch a few last rays of sunshine before nightfall.

"Where are you going?" Sakura asked.

"Secret. Now open your present." Kakashi said, still looking as uninterested as possible with his nose buried in his dirty book.

Sakura rolled her eyes and pulled the brown paper apart easily. Inside was a pink kunai, enameled and glossy. Sakura grinned happily.

"Where did you get these?" She asked. "And do you realize that every gift you've ever gotten me was some kind of weapon?"

"Not true," Kakashi said. "When you were sixteen I bought you a comb."

"Yeah, a comb with a trick handle that turned it into a razor blade!" Sakura laughed, but looped her arm around his shoulders from behind in a loose hug. "Thanks Kakashi. But maybe next time you can just get me flowers or something?"

"My job is to teach you to be a killer," Kakashi said, sounding bored. "So I think flowers would be pretty pointless. Weapons are more sensible. You'll actually use these."

"Ugh, I hope not."

"Well, me too."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. Sakura leaned back down on the bench and pulled her red vest up enough to catch the sun's light. She closed her eyes, knowing that one of her mother's people would be by to fetch her for dinner soon. What a bore. She'd much rather stay out here with Kakashi and nap. She was tired! They'd just completed a lengthy taijutsu session and her very bones seemed to ache. Once she'd picked up the basics of rudimentary healing from Tsunade, she and Kakashi rarely bothered to practice on mats anymore.

Kakashi snapped his book shut and stood up, turning to extend a hand to Sakura.

"Come on, Princess," he said with a short bow, "Any longer out here and you'll ruin your skin."

His eyes lingered a little bit on her exposed stomach but Sakura just sat up and smacked him lightly on the chest.

"You perv," She said smiling. "See you tomorrow?"

"At dawn," He said. Sakura only rolled her eyes.

"So, around nine then," She said with a grin.

Kakashi couldn't help grinning back at her through his mask. She winked lightly at him and left, intercepting one of the household retainers who had been sent to bring her to dinner. The man seemed flustered as Sakura just breezed by him with a smile. Kakashi knew the feeling.

Lately, Sakura had begun to fluster him. She'd been his student since she was twelve, and he was about ten years her senior. He'd never had trouble separating the idea of her as his student from the idea of her as a woman. But as he watched her hips sway delicately as she made her way back up towards the main part of the castle grounds, he groaned inwardly.

Eighteen.

Yes, he was going to have to leave and be gone for a long time.

Or else the Queen would have him murdered.


	2. Chapter 2

Next Week

Sakura stood with her back straight, the way Kakashi had taught her (which was weird, considering his own perpetual slouch). Her mother paced in front of her like a caged lioness, her elaborately embroidered kimono in disarray. Midara had always been a restless person, something Sakura had inherited and wished she hadn't. Her peach-colored hair had come loose from its knot and hung down to her waist. She stopped and fixed her bright green gaze on the identical eyes of her daughter.

"Sakura, I have something to tell you."

Sakura gulped. She had expected this. She chanced a glance to where Kakashi stood just behind her right elbow, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He crinkled his eye at her as he caught her look.

"Yes, mother?" She said, a little nervous.

"This isn't….look, you have to understand…"

Midara sighed gustily and sat in the marble throne at the head of the throneroom. Sakura had been summoned here from her afternoon lesson with Tsunade, who was now happily sleeping off the hangover she'd been fighting through. Kakashi had already been in the throne room when she got there and everything about his body language told her she wasn't going to like what her mother had to say.

"I was still nursing you when your father died," Midara continued. Sakura tried not to roll her eyes. She'd _heard_ this story. "And everyone expected his brother or his uncle or somebody else to take over. Nobody thought I could do it. Hell, the council even considered it treason for me to even try…"

"Which is why there is no council anymore…" Sakura intoned. Midara shot her a look.

"That's right," She said, a little nastily. "There is no council because I had them executed. I did what I had to do to protect myself, to protect you. They sent somebody after us almost immediately after the battle. Some fool in a black cloak. If I hadn't been trained as a ninja we'd both be dead."

"Which is why you had me trained...look mother, I know…"

"You _don't_ know, Sakura. You see, I made these sacrifices for you, for us. I never married again, I never had any other children. I raised you to be strong, independent. I had you educated, I had you trained by the best."

"Why, thank you, your majesty," Kakashi murmured.

"I was talking about Tsunade you buffoon," Midara spat at him. Kakashi merely shrugged.

"Mother, what-" Sakura began, but the Queen cut her off.

"I never wanted you to have to do this, Sakura. But it looks like the time has come to consider it."

Sakura heard a faint noise at her right and glanced at Kakashi again. Was he growling? It was more like a faint groan.

"Consider what?" Sakura said.

"A marriage." Midara said heavily. "A political one."

"A political marriage?" Sakura repeated numbly.

"Yes. Either you or me or both."

"To...to who? To what? I don't understand….you told me you'd never sell me like that." Sakura said.

"I did say that and I won't break my promise. I can't force you. God knows, I was forced and it was just a miracle that the guy turned out to be decent. Then he turned around and died two years later, leaving me with this kingdom to deal with." Midara waved her hand in the air as though trying to swat a fly. "I was forced to leave my home in the lightning country for this, the heart of the fire country. They didn't let me take anything or anyone with me. And I know they expected me to break. They expected me to be weak. But I wasn't. I became strong." Midori looked out at the open window. The palace sat atop a hill, surrounded by homes and gardens and shops along cobblestone streets. Sakura looked out the window too. She'd always loved the view from the palace. When she looked back at her mother, the woman's face was pale and sad.

"I fought to keep my place here," Midara said softly. "I fought to be treated as a leader. I earned the trust of the people. I made my home here. And I made a place for my daughter here. But now...now I may have to lose you."

"What's changed, mother?" Sakura asked, concerned now.

"Akatsuki," Came the reply, but it was from Kakashi. Sakura looked back at him.

"The ninja clan? The bad one?"

"Yes," he said. "They're moving on us."

"What? What do you mean?" Sakura asked, looking at her mother in alarm.

"They are making a play for our land," Midara said, "For the kingdom. They are after the nine-tailed fox. They think we have it."

"Naruto! But that's a secret!" Sakura exclaimed. Her blonde friend, the boy who'd spent most of their friendship professing his undying love to her, rose up in her memory. He'd left two years earlier to train with another teacher. "Besides, he's not even here anymore."

"They know he belongs to us," Midara said heavily. "They've set up outposts in surrounding villages and have begun conducting raids, trying to get through our defenses."

"What the hell does this have to do with a marriage!" Sakura blurted out angrily.

"If you marry one of the idiots ruling those surrounding villages, maybe even one of the neighboring nations, then they will have an interest in helping us!" Midara burst out. "I've been getting offer after offer since you turned fifteen, _fifteen,_ mind you, and I've never given any of them the time of day because I always said you should inherit _this_ kingdom and whatever fuckwhit you decide to marry would be _your_ fucking choice."

Sakura had never heard her mother use such foul language. Judging from Kakashi's slightly paler complexion, he never had either. She gave him a pleading look, which he returned silently.

"So you want me to marry somebody now?" Sakura ventured. "Because it would benefit the kingdom?"

"I've received offers as well, but if I marry it gets complicated. Do I leave? Does he come here? Who rules in my absence? I want you to be Queen after me but I don't know if you're ready yet."

"Who has offered? Do I know any of them?"

"The best offer has come from the Uchiha kingdom. Their prince, Sasuke. I believe you met him when you were kids."

"Oh God," Sakura groaned. She'd followed him around like a sick puppy when he spent the summer in Konoha about five years ago. "Not him…."

"Well there's also Sasori, of the Wind country. The Uchihas offered up their older son too, should you object to the younger one. Apparently he's not as personable, though."

"Great." Sakura groaned.

"Gaara, son of the King of the Wind country. His parents are dead."

"Delightful."

"Killerbee, brother to the King of the Lightning country. He's your….I don't know….second cousin once removed?"

"Oh for God's sake." Sakura sat on the marble bench under the window and buried her head in her hands. Her mother tapped her nails against the arm of her throne.

"You don't have to decide right now," Midara said.

"Or ever," Kakashi murmured.

"Shut up Kakashi," Midara said, "Your thoughts and feelings on this are not wanted."

"Good of you to invite me then." Kakashi responded smoothly, pulling a book out of his pocket. "Shall I go then?" He took a step back but didn't leave.

"How long do I have?" Sakura said. "Can I...I don't know...meet some of them?"

"Of course," the Queen said, sighing. "We'll have a summit. I'll have the invitations sent tomorrow. The leaders will come to discuss our current political situation, and you can meet these potential suitors. If you like one, then we can proceed."

Sakura felt sick to her stomach. She got up to leave, shoulders now just as slumped as Kakashi. As she passed him, she noticed he was also a little more slumped than usual.

"And Sakura," Midara said, her voice stopping Sakura at the door.

"Yes?"

"You need to like one of them. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Sakura nodded, her throat feeling too tight to speak, and she left for the comfort of her own rooms.

Kakashi remained in the throne room with the queen. The two shared an uncomfortable silence.

"You think I'm cruel." Midara said coldly.

"I think you're wrong," Kakashi responded in a mild voice.

"Kakashi, you and I both know that if the Akatsuki get what they want, it'll be war. War between all the nations."

"I know."

"It's sensible to make alliances."

"I know that too."

"And I'm not forcing her."

"You're as good as."

"Only if she likes someone!" Midara exclaimed.

"She'll never like any of those fools, and you know it. Killerbee is basically old enough to be her father."

"Oh," Midara said, eyeing Kakashi. "Don't imagine her with an older man?"

"I don't imagine her with anyone. She's my student."

"Yes she is. And you're my closest advisor. What would you have me do?"

"I don't know. I'll have more information on the Akatsuki when I get back from my mission. I was hoping you would listen to my _advice_ and wait until then to tell Sakura about all this."

"She has to know at some point."

"Well there's no undoing it now."

"You know Kakashi," Midara said evenly, "You're the only one who gets to speak to me with such disrespect and still keep his head."

"You often remind me of that fact."

"Well, it's worth remembering. I trained under the same teacher as you Kakashi. I know a corner when I'm backed into it, and I'm really backed into this one. They're closing in on us. We need help. And this seems like the only way."

"Just don't sell her off before I get back, okay? I'm not even sure all of these guys are clean. There have been reports of sharingan use in the Akatsuki."

"I know."

"The only people who possess the sharingan are Uchihas."

"And you."

"And me."

"Maybe I should suspect you."

"Maybe you should chop my head off now." Kakashi glanced down at his book. Midara sighed.

"Go, and say goodbye to her before you leave. When I send you on missions she asks after you constantly. Reassure her, okay?"

"Of course."

"Don't come back without intel on these bastards," Midara growled. "Something we can really hit them with."

"Yes, your majesty."

Kakashi bowed, pocketed his book, and was gone.

Midara stood and moved over to the window, where an errant breeze caused her hair to blow around her face. She trapped the long tresses in her hand and hastily began braiding them into a tight spiral. It looked like the time of peace might be coming to an end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Goodbyes**

Sakura stared at her face in the mirror. She was paler than usual, and that was saying something. Of course the top of her forehead still managed to be sunburned. She rolled her green eyes at her own reflection. She backed up and inspected herself from a distance. What interest would any of these men have in her? She wasn't exactly an eyesore, she knew that much. But there wasn't much special about her besides her unusual hair.

Sakura backed up further and sat on her bed, rustling the silk coverlet. She buried her head in her hands. _Sasuke._ He was only one of them she really knew, and there was no way this proposal was his idea. He'd made his disdain for her crystal clear during the short time they'd spent together. She had met Gaara before, but he was terrifying. She remembered Itachi only barely, as he had arrived with his family at the end of the summer to collect Sasuke.

Sakura suddenly felt homesick for Naruto. _He_ would have had something to say about this arrangement! Too bad he wasn't heir to some kingdom. Naruto was annoying, but he was nice to her and he was loyal to a fault. He would make a good partner.

A gentle knock on the door stopped her train of thought, and Kakashi's gloved hand appeared around the door. He backed into the room like he always did.

"Kakashi you can just come in," Sakura snorted. "I'm decent."

"Just giving you time to hide your stuffed animals," Kakashi teased. Sakura rolled her eyes.

Kakashi turned around and made a show of feeling his way to his favorite chair by her bed. Sakura smacked him on the arm.

"Cut that out. I'm not thirteen anymore," She said.

"Clearly." Kakashi said drily, as he glanced meaningfully at the sizable pile of plushies on her bed. They both chuckled quietly, but then silence fell between them. The meaning of Sakura's comment seemed to weigh heavily between them. She really wasn't thirteen anymore.

"I told her not to do anything until I got back," Kakashi said, leaning forward to ruffle her hair. Sakura sighed.

"Are you going to tell me where you're going?"

"Nope."

"Are you going to be safe?"

"Probably not."

"Are you going to come back?"

Kakashi paused and stared at her. It was a common routine they went through every time he went away, but this time the question had caught in her throat. Like she really _was_ worried he wouldn't come back. He looked at Sakura, at her pale face, her hands twisted in her lap. The way she was perched at the edge of the bed. He'd known her since she was twelve, he'd spent the better part of every day with her, except when he was on missions, for years. He'd never seen her so tense.

He broke one of his own unspoken rules, and leaned forward to take her hands in his own.

"Sakura," He said quietly, "I'll come back."

"But what happens when you do?" Sakura said in a small voice. "I'll have to marry one of those men and leave here."

"No," Kakashi said, his heart beating faster than it should have. "You won't. I've spoken to your mother; you don't have to do anything while I'm gone. And when I get back, I'll have intel that might mean you don't have to take this step. There are many ways to protect our borders."

Sakura squeezed his hands and took a shuddering sigh. She shook her head.

"Even if you're right," She said. "And I don't have to accept these offers now….it won't last. I'm eighteen. Eventually there will be others, there will be expectations. At some point I will have to-"

" _No,_ " Kakashi said again, with more feeling than he should have shown. "I did _not_ train you so that you could be carted off to some foreign country so some jackass with a title can waste your life rotating between ignoring you and getting you pregnant. I'll find another way."

He figured he may have said something rude from the horrified look on her face. She pulled her hands away.

"Is that what you think it'll be like?" She said, glaring at him. "That was _so_ encouraging, thank you!" The sarcasm cut him. Kakashi leaned back and rubbed the back on his neck, feeling chagrined.

"I didn't mean.." He began, worried he was only making it worse. "I just mean…I don't want you to settle, that's all."

"I get it."

"I mean, you need to at least like the guy," Kakashi continued.

Sakura grunted, not looking at him.

"A ninja would be nice…" Kakashi mused, rubbing his chin in thought. "You'd scare the shit out of a normal guy-"

Sakura threw a pillow at him.

"He has to be able to withstand your temper-" Kakashi said, dodging more pillows, which were thrown with so much force they exploded against the walls in clouds of feathers. He ducked behind his chair.

"Screw you," Sakura said, hefting a plushie.

"He should be ugly too," Kakashi said, enjoying this new game. At least some of her fire was back. "Maybe hiding his face in a mask. That way people would think you're pretty by compar-oof!"

She caught him in the jaw with a jeweled throw pillow, which stung even through his mask.

"Sensei," She said, rolling her shoulders as if the last hit was just a warmup to something worse, "You've just described yourself."

Silence fell between them as Sakura realized what she'd said. She blushed and looked down. Kakashi breathed evenly for a few seconds, wrangling errant thoughts. Bad thoughts. Unwanted thoughts. Brilliant thoughts.

For a wild moment, Kakashi considered it. As an abstract idea.

A breeze blew through the open window, brushed past Sakura, wafted to Kakashi. He caught the scent of her vanilla lotion, as comforting and familiar as his own scent. He glanced briefly around the room, at the lip gloss on her vanity, the shelf where she'd laid out her new kunai in a place of honor. A short, lacy garment lay draped across the back of the couch. He wasn't sure what it was, but he kind of wanted to see her in it.

Kakashi shook his head even as his mind raced through the images.

"I have not," Kakashi said gruffly.

"Not what?" Sakura said. Her eyes looked glassy for some reason.

"Described myself," Kakashi said, straightening up. "I'll have you know that under this mask I am extremely good-looking."

Sakura snorted despite herself, and Kakashi was relieved to feel the tension break. For a few moments things felt normal again. Kakashi couldn't help but smile at her, and she grinned back. But as she smiled, her blush returned, and Kakashi's own grin faded as he watched her face.

"Please….please be safe," She said seriously.

Kakashi nodded.

"See you when I get back," He said, too softly. He turned to leave the room but the rustle of her kimono stopped him. She reached out from behind him to squeeze his hand. He didn't turn around, afraid he wouldn't leave if he saw the look on her face.

"Don't get killed." She said.

Kakashi stroked her palm with his thumb, the most intimate gesture he could trust himself with.

"Don't get married." He responded after a pause, and left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi cursed at himself all the way to the edge of the Land of Fire. After his little misadventure with Sakura, he'd slunk back to his own rooms to sleep. It hadn't gone well. Turns out it's impossible to sleep when you are fixated on your student like an old pervert.

 _Pervert,_ Kakashi told himself as he raced through the forest, having left the castle before dawn to get a head start on his mission. The rising sunlight filtered through the misty woods. His feet tapped tree branches lightly as he used his chakra to propel himself forward.

What kind of teacher fantasized about his student? True, he'd been pretty young himself when Midara asked him to train the young princess. Despite his youth, though, he'd already been a ninja for over a decade. He'd gone on his first mission at seven. He'd killed his first man at twelve, and many more since then in service to his kingdom. He had seen torture, imprisonment, and hardship.

Sakura knew none of it, though. She was as sweet and delicate as a flower. Although her chakra control was the most impressive he'd ever seen, she'd never had a reason to unleash it fully. Kakashi trained her to defend herself, to think on her feet, to trust her own judgment. But he never imagined she would need those skills...not if he had to say anything about it. He didn't _want_ her to know the kind of heartache he'd learned to live with, the kind of nascent pain that eased only when he was in her presence.

They were best friends, he knew that much. She'd relied on him when she was younger, but as she grew, he had begun to rely on her. He needed her gentle teasing, her quick laughter, even her impressive temper.

 _God,_ Kakashi thought grimly to himself. Was he in love with her? He thought back to the women he'd been with before, to the girl he'd loved as a boy, but he couldn't find anything to compare with how he felt about Sakura. She was wholly different. She was his _partner_. His confidant. The person he knew best in the world. Maybe that's all it was. Maybe it had been too long since he'd been laid. Maybe that was the only reason he couldn't stop thinking about that lace thing he'd seen in her room. Was it some kind of nightgown? Undergarment? He just liked a woman in lace. It was only natural that kept picturing Sakura in it, since he'd seen it in her room. It didn't mean anything.

But then he remembered her blush, and a thrill went through him. Kakashi forced the feeling down and locked it away in the box in his mind reserved for thoughts he didn't have the time to think. This box was particularly full on missions, and it always seemed to be full of Sakura.

Once his warm and slightly perverted thoughts were carefully filed away, Kakashi was free to achieve his first objective: finding Tenzou.

Of course, he realized later, Tenzou might have liked more warning before Kakashi barrelled out of the forest into his house, but how was that Kakashi's fault? The wood-style user erected a new home every few weeks as a way to keep his skills sharp and they were always in slightly different positions than Kakashi remembered….

Kakashi waited patiently in the rubble for his old friend to stop swearing and help him up. Tenzou's house was nestled near a small rocky outcropping in the woods, so it wasn't easy to see in the dappled sunlight.

Well it _had_ been nestled near a rocky outcropping. Currently, parts of the house were drifting down a small stream. Other parts were splintering in Kakashi's butt. He groaned as he stood and pulled some of the larger offenders out.

"-of all the moronic, shit-eating-" Tenzou was saying, brushing sawdust off of his dark clothing.

"Morning Tenzou," Kakashi said affably, once he'd freed his butt from splinters.

"I told you my name is _Yamato_ now and I don't work for you anymore. I _won't_ work for you anymore!" Tenzou said nervously. "Whatever you're here for, you can forget it."

"That's a shame," Kakashi said evenly. "Got any tea around? I wouldn't say no to something fruity."

Tenzou looked nonplussed, but he searched around in the debris for his supplies anyway, muttering under his breath.

" _Ninja of your caliber dives into a house, must've meant to….I'll show you…"_

"Hmm?" Kakashi asked.

"Forget it," Tenzou sighed. "It'd be in one ear and out the other."

"Ah." Kakashi managed to settle himself while Tenzou lit a small fire in what used to be his hearth and set a chipped pan heating over it. The men sat in silence as the watched the pot over the fire. Kakashi's silence was easy and comfortable; Tenzou's silence managed somehow to be stressed. Kakashi fought the urge to grin underneath his mask. He'd known Tenzou since they were children. They'd run hundreds of missions together. He and Tenzou had both worked for Anbu, the secret division of ninja protecting the kingdom. Not long after Kakashi left to train Sakura, Tenzou had also retired and moved to the edge of the Land of Fire for some peace and quiet. Kakashi knew that for a ninja, the concept of peace and quiet was a mixed blessing. So he made a point to turn up with a mission every so often. He could usually bully Tenzou into going with him. It was a good arrangement in Kakashi's mind. Tenzou got out, got to see some action, got to remind himself why he retired...and Kakashi had the company of his oldest friend and a partner he could trust on his missions.

Well, he could trust Sakura as a partner but he didn't want her to put herself at risk alongside him.

 _No. Stop_ , Kakashi reminded himself as he sealed the thought of the pink-haired princess away.

"FINE! Fine I'll go with you!" Tenzou burst out, spilling the water he was pouring into a cup. Kakashi looked up with a start, having forgotten why he was there for a moment. He crinkled his visible eye at Tenzou, who was rubbing his forehead like he'd just signed his life away.

"Great!" Kakashi said brightly. "I knew you'd come around with some persuading."

"Just tell me what the mission is," Tenzou said, handing Kakashi a cup of hot water, having forgotten to add tea. Kakashi politely sipped the hot water through his mask.

"Akatsuki," He said at last. Tenzou groaned. "They've been more active, recruiting members, tapping at our defenses."

"They're after something," Tenzou guessed.

"They're after Naruto, and the want to use him to get the kingdom. Or destroy it."

Tenzou nodded. He'd abandoned his cup and was searching through a busted dresser for his green vest. Kakashi pulled a small scroll from a pocket in his own vest. He opened it and scanned the contents out of habit. He had nearly memorized it. "I've got some names here, some information," He told Tenzou, "About the base of the enemy. Looks like the leader may be hiding out in the Village Hidden in the Rain."

"Jesus," Tenzou said, slipping on his headband.

"Yeah. There are reports that the Akatsuki were behind the war there."

"The mission?"

"Mostly infiltration. We need some rumors confirmed."

"Makes sense. I've been hearing the rumors myself."

"Yes, well I've got to find her something fast. I don't want to be gone long, and I don't want to return empty handed." Kakashi said grimly, balling his gloved hand into a fist. Tenzou cocked his head at his old friend.

"You alright?" He asked. Kakashi calmed himself and took another sip of his water.

"Fine."

"You look angry."

"Shut up."

"Fine." Tenzou tugged on his boots. Kakashi watched dispassionately. "Is it Sakura?" Tenzou asked, without looking at Kakashi. The older ninja frowned. Was he that obvious? He downed his water, wishing it were something stronger.

"The Queen, she wants Sakura to marry."

"Huh."

"Some moron from one of the surrounding nations. To protect her borders."

"Well, yeah." Tenzou said carefully, pulling on his other boot. "But Sakura, you know...she'd be fine."

"She'd be _fine?_ "

"Hasn't she been trained her whole life for that kind of thing? She is a princess…"

" _I_ trained her," Kakashi replied heatedly. "And I did _not_ train her for that. She's better than any of those dipshits."

"So?" Tenzou asked. "I'm pretty sure the queen didn't ask your opinion on the matter so…"

"She did ask, and I told her. If I can get some intel on Akatsuki, something that we can use against them effectively, then maybe she won't have to do it. Sakura could stay."

"Kakashi, man, she can't stay with you forever. She's a grown woman now." Tenzou said slowly.

"I know that," Kakashi said darkly. Tenzou's eyebrows went up.

"Ah…" He said uncertainly. "...do you?"

"Calm down Tenzou," Kakashi said, sighing. "It's not what you think."

"And what do I think?"

"I haven't done anything." Kakashi murmured. There was a slight pause.

"But you want to." Tenzou supplied. Kakashi shrugged noncommittally.

"Ugh," Tenzou said, sitting and burying his face in his hands. "You are going to be executed."

"Hey," Kakashi said, a little hurt.

"Son of a bitch...she's going to slice you into little pieces. You know what she did to those Council members who tried to have Sakura killed?"

"Hey, don't write me off yet," Kakashi said, thoroughly offended. "I'm not planning on doing _anything_. I mean, there was one thought I had…"

"Don't tell me." Tenzou said quickly. Kakashi ignored him.

"If Midara needs someone strong to be Sakura's partner, someone who won't try to take control of the kingdom after they're married, someone she can rely on...who knows the politics, who knows the kingdom…" He trailed off.

"Shit. YOU? You are going to suggest to the Queen that YOU be the one to marry her daughter?"

"No," Kakashi said sadly. "I said it was a thought. I didn't say it was a good one."

Although Kakashi secretly thought it was a _very_ good one. Fuck lands and titles and borders. He could keep Sakura safe just by never leaving her side.

"Look Kakashi," Tenzou said sternly. "Don't you act on this. Don't do anything to get yourself killed, which would be bad for me, or exiled, which would be infinitely worse since I know you'd just show up here and expect me to take care of you in your old age and I'm NOT doing it."

"I'm hurt," Kakashi said. "I'm not _that_ old."

"Twenty-nine is ancient for a ninja like you." Tenzou supplied. Kakashi rubbed his masked chin thoughtfully.

"Twenty-nine…is that how old I am?"

"YES!" Tenzou said in irritation. "You know how I know? TWENTY years of birthday presents. And you never wrote me one thank you note. Or, you know, remembered _my_ birthday."

"I did like the signed copy of the new Icha Icha-"

"That was SAKURA you moron! You don't even remember? Why am I your friend?"

"Hmm, I'm not entirely sure. Because of my charm and rakish good looks?"

Tenzou sighed and checked his pouches for weapons.

"Let's get going," He said. "It'll be a long way to the Rain Village. Maybe we can catch the train."

Kakashi stood and stretched. He felt unaccountably better. It was good to talk to someone. Together Kakashi and his oldest friend set out through the woods.

"Hey Tenzou?"

"Yeah?"

"Repeat any of that conversation to anyone and you die."

"...right."


	5. Chapter 5

Mornings

"Sakura, get up."

"Uuuuuggghhh,"

"Get up."

"Mhmmnnn mdhdm"

"SAKURA get up this is NOT MY JOB!"

The bed frame creaked threateningly. Sakura sat up, bleary-eyed, and glared at Tsunade, who didn't look much better herself. She was clutching the side of the bed, which had splintered slightly.

"Why did my mother send _you_?" Sakura said, wiping mascara from under her eyes.

"I think she's trying to punish me," Tsunade sighed, and sat on the edge of the bed. "That, or all the other servants are busy trying to get the palace ready."

Sakura groaned, feeling nauseated. She dropped her head into her hands. Tsunade smacked her back upright.

"Hey!" Sakura said. "Why are you being so mean? You eager to see me married off and living in some desert or something?"

"You'll only move to the desert if you choose Gaara, or Sasume."

"Sasori."

"That's what I said. And weren't you in love with the Uchiha brat just a few summers ago?" Tsunade said, hunting around on the floor for something clean for Sakura to wear.

"He's _awful,_ Tsunade," Sakura moaned. "I followed him around all summer and he basically told me I was disgusting to him. I can't imagine being _married_ to him!"

"Ah, well, you've both grown up since then…"

"Why are you talking this up?" Sakura said, brow furrowed. "Do you actually want me to leave?"

Tsunade sighed and straightened up, a marginally clean yukata in her hand. She tossed it to Sakura and sat down again next to her student on the bed. She'd learned not to take Kakashi's chair.

"Of course I don't. I don't want you to have to do this. But your mother spoke to me today...if you go, I'll go with you. I can continue your training while you're married. It was a condition she set on the offers."

Sakura immediately brightened, sitting up smartly. Her heart fluttered as she looked over at the vacant chair by the bed.

"Really?" She breathed. "Do you think-"

"No," Tsunade said, following Sakura's gaze. The pink-haired girl looked over at her mentor. "Kakashi can't go with you." Tsunade finished. Sakura's face hardened.

"Why not? He's my teacher too."

"Sakura, you can't go into a marriage with a...with a man on your arm."

"That's ridiculous. Kakashi isn't...he's my...he's my teacher. He's always been there for me."

"I know, but your mother was really clear on this. Rumors have already spread about you two. It would be impossible for any new husband not to feel threatened with a ninja bodyguard hovering around."

Sakura's face blazed red at the thought of what the _rumors_ about her and Kakashi might be. She pushed the embarrassment aside.

"Tsunade, _you're_ a ninja bodyguard." She pointed out.

"I am, but I'm not as threatening. Kakashi is...he's a little overprotective of you. No man would want him around."

Sakura fought to keep her composure. She tried not to imagine what life without Kakashi by her side would be like. He'd been gone on his mission for about three weeks, and she felt his absence like an open wound. She was used to him being gone on missions from time to time, but three weeks was long even by his lazy standards.

If she missed him this badly already...what would it feel like when she rarely ever saw him?

She dug around her bedside table and fished out her thigh holster. She pulled her pink kunai out from it's usual space under her pillow and slipped it in the holster. If Tsunade thought this arrangement was strange, she didn't say anything.

Sakura got up and allowed Tsunade to help her dress and fix her hair and makeup. Today was the day the prospective grooms were to arrive, and she had to be ready. Feeling the weight of Kakashi's gift underneath her dress was only a small comfort.


	6. Chapter 6

Confessions

Tenzou snored.

Kakashi should have been used to it by now, after weeks of travel. He was a little worried that Tenzou might have some kind of health condition. The snoring was that bad. Doctors should be involved.

The copy ninja rolled over, putting his back to his noisy partner. They'd arrived in the Rain Village just before dark and had managed to secure a room in an inn. The room was damp, the bedding was damp, and the whole damn place was damp. Kakashi had never had a reason to hate rain before, but this rain seemed to fall with particular malice. Perhaps Kakashi was just in a bad mood after weeks of being away from home. He had hoped to get here sooner and get back sooner, but the train that usually ran between the two countries was broken down, and so they had traveled on foot. It was too risky to try to secure any other transportation; the fewer people knew they were nosing about, the better.

The delay bothered Kakashi, and for a while he tried to pretend this was because he was an organized and punctual ninja who hated for his plans to go awry. That fiction didn't last long. At night, alone with his own thoughts and away from his friend's complaints, he had a difficult time keeping himself from dwelling on Sakura, and what she might be doing.

Three weeks was a long time, even for him. She would be worried, but he dare not send any communication back. He knew she would be meeting the men who had proposed marriage to her soon. Worry gnawed at him. What if he was gone so long that Midara no longer wanted to wait? What if Sakura was already gone by the time he got back?

Anger burned in his gut, making it even harder to sleep. He'd seen plenty of political marriages in his time and he wasn't impressed by the prospect. Plus, Sakura was special. She wasn't like other women. She was stronger than any man; her abilities might even outrank his own one day. She was a little naive, but incredibly smart. She had a wry sense of humor and her towering temper was always intriguing to Kakashi.

She was beautiful too. God, was she beautiful. It was a thought he rarely allowed himself to think, but it seemed safe here, being so far from her. He could admit that he always wanted to touch her soft hair, that her bright green eyes slayed him, and that he silently cherished those moments where he was, for some reason or another, pressed up against her. For the last year or so he'd told himself to find her another sparring partner, so that he could watch and critique her technique from the outside. He hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. She usually injured him while they fought and taking off his shirt and letting her heal him with her soft hands and expert chakra was a sick pleasure of his. He loved the way she bit her lip and blushed slightly-did she even know she did that? Or the way the soft baby hairs on the back of her neck curled when her hair was tied up. Sometimes he couldn't stop himself from bumping his nose gently against her neck, looking for her sweet scent. She'd usually giggle and call him a pervert, but her blush would grow darker.

He wondered why she blushed. He was built like any ninja, and his face was nothing to blush for. _Ah_ , he reminded himself, she'd never seen his face. He didn't like anyone to see it. Staying behind a mask meant there was always at least one thin layer of cloth between who he really was and who he pretended to be. He didn't usually take it off much even when he was alone; it kept his true self in check.

Sakura was the only person he'd ever wanted to remove his mask for, and that was in the most private moments in his fantasies where he admitted to himself that he wanted to kiss her.


	7. Chapter 7

Brotherly Love

Tenzou didn't want to know what had Kakashi in such a foul mood. He hadn't slept well, from the look of the dark circle under his only visible eye. Tenzou supposed Kakashi had been up all night with sexual fantasies relating to his barely-legal student. The pervert.

Tenzou tried not to worry too much about his flawed best friend. There was too much at stake. They'd arrived in the Rain Village under cover, but the problem with going incognito was that Kakashi was so famous, at least in ninja circles. The longer they stayed, the higher the chance that somebody would recognize him, or at least suspect him. They had to get their intel and move out as quickly as possible.

They'd made the plan on the long journey from the Land of Fire. The rumor that drew them to the Rain Village was the whisper of _Pain,_ a powerful ninja who appeared to be behind a recent and bloody regime change in the Village. Kakashi had information, although he wouldn't say from whence it came, that Pain also controlled the Akatsuki. If they could confirm that, then Konoha could move against the Rain openly and cut off the head of the serpent, so to speak.

Together the pair trudged through the streets of the Rain Village, clad in nondescript cloaks and civilian clothing. Kakashi had swapped his headband and mask for a scarf and an eyepatch. The look did not particularly suit him. His scar was too visible, for one thing.

"You should have gone with a hat, buddy." Tenzou said under his breath.

"Shut the fuck up." Kakashi replied evenly, as though he were commenting on the weather. Tenzou reared back, affronted.

"Hey! What's the deal?" He said.

"The deal is my partner won't leave me the fuck alone." Kakashi said, his indolent eye scanning the crowds as they passed.

"That's the first thing I've said all day!" Tenzou protested. "You've had a crab up your ass for the last two weeks. I'm sick of being your whipping boy."

Kakashi sighed, and wiped his forehead with a damp corner of his cloak. He obviously wasn't used to having it so exposed.

"I'm sorry." He said finally. "I'm just worried."

"About Sa-about home?" Tenzou suggested. Kakashi shrugged, which Tenzou knew usually meant yes.

"Everything will be fine at home," Tenzou said. "No one is going to make any decisions without you."

"They could." Kakashi countered. "They are under no obligation to me."

"Your...student isn't stupid." Tenzou said softly. "She won't make a bad decision."

Kakashi said nothing to that, but he clapped his hand on Tenzou's shoulder. Tenzou's heart warmed at the brotherly gesture, he and was thinking he might be about to get a hug (when you lived alone in the woods most of the year you tended to get excited about potential physical contact) when Kakashi squeezed a little harder than necessary. Tenzou followed Kakashi's gaze to the backs of two men emerging from a bar. They were drunk, and they were sloppy...but they were clearly ninja.

"Let's do this," Kakashi said.

Tenzou's hopeful smile faded. He knew that tone of voice; there was no way Kakashi was talking about a hug.


	8. Chapter 8

Of Grooms and Men

Sakura attempted to scratch her head but her mother swatted her hand down. Midara had not trusted any of the servants with the styling of Sakura's hair, which was highly unusual. Sakura wasn't sure if it was a gesture of support or veiled intimidation, but the Queen had insisted on constructing Sakura's intricate updo herself.

Now Sakura's hair was wound as tight as her mother was.

Although when Sakura got a look at her pale face in the mirror, she had to admit she was pretty wound up too. The guests had been arriving throughout the day, and tonight was the welcome reception.

Midara fastened on one more dangling ornament before she leaned back with a sigh.

"Done," She said. "Sakura, you look lovely."

"Thanks," Sakura said, standing up from the vanity. Midara gestured for Sakura to stand back so she could get a look at her ensemble.

Sakura wore a crimson kimono with a golden obi. The silk rustled around her ankles as she stood back, waiting for Midara's approval. The queen wrinkled her nose a little bit.

"Are you sure this is the one you want?" She asked uncertainly. "It doesn't exactly go with your hair."

"This is my favorite," Sakura said simply. "I want to feel like myself tonight."

Midara nodded sadly, and seemed like she wanted to say something, but resisted. She stepped forward and gently enfolded her daughter in a hug.

Sakura didn't resist the hug, but she felt like a liar. On the inside, she was rebelling in every way to this whole arrangement. She wore her kunai in her thigh holster. She crimson kimono was not her favorite either. It was Kakashi's favorite, a fact she'd wheedled from him three months ago when he'd come down with the flu and wouldn't let any other medics tend to him. She'd had him brought to her room and for two days she'd monitored his temperature and fallen asleep beside him on the bed in between chakra-healing sessions to combat the rib-cracking cough he'd developed. He'd talked a lot in his feverish state, and she'd enjoyed blackmailing him with the information for weeks afterwards. He'd told her that he adored her, and then he'd asked nervously how she felt and she patiently reminded him that yes, of course, she adored him too.

Remembering the exchange now made her heart flutter, and she shivered a little bit in her mother's arms. Midara mistook it for nerves.

"Listen, Sakura," She said, leaning back enough to look at her daughter's face. "I never thought it would come to this, and maybe it doesn't have to. All you need to worry about tonight is….just...just talk to a few of them, alright?"

Sakura nodded silently.

"These are, possibly with a few exceptions, reasonable men that you may find you have something in common with." Midara continued.

"At least I know one of them, kinda…" Sakura mumbled, thinking of Sasuke. She had dreaded seeing him again but perhaps having spent some time together before would help the awkwardness. She figured she'd try him first.

"Actually," Midara said, uncomfortable, "Sasuke's offer was rescinded."

"You're kidding." Sakura said dryly.

"I'm not. But not to worry, the Uchihas sent his older brother Itachi. Apparently they were more concerned with finding a wife for him, than for his younger brother."

Sakura's heart sank. Not for losing Sasuke (that battle had been lost long ago) but for losing her only chance at staying home. She had been hoping that Sasuke, as a younger brother, might be willing to relocate. Of course, not all of the prospective grooms were set to inherit directly as Itachi was. Wasn't Killerbee just the brother of the king? Perhaps he would be willing to live in Konoha?

Sakura gave her mother a smile and the two left for the reception, Sakura hoping she could recognize Killerbee. Maybe she'd throw him a few smiles and see if he responded.


	9. Chapter 9

The Angel of God

Kakashi washed the blood from his hands in a puddle behind the abandoned warehouse he and Tenzou had used for their interrogation. He flexed his fist a few times; his knuckles had split underneath his gloves. He winced.

"Let me have a look at that," Tenzou said from behind him. Kakashi's lip curled at the sympathetic tone in his voice. He'd realized the same thing Kakashi had.

"It's fine," Kakashi said.

"It's not fine, Kakashi," Tenzou said seriously. "You took down that wall. Your hand could be broken. You don't have Sakura's chakra strength."

Kakashi winced at the sound of her name and his heart squeezed painfully. _Sakura._ How could he tell her?

"We have to get back," He croaked. He really did feel like an old man now. Interrogations were never his favorite activity, and they were even worse when the news was this bad.

"Fine. I've got these two knocked out and tied up," Tenzou gestured behind him to where the two rain ninja were hoisted against a crumbling wall, restrained by wooden beams. "If we go now we can get out before they get free."

Kakashi nodded, and got out his summoning scroll. He bit his thumb and smeared it on the scroll, calling Pakkun to him. The tiny pug dog appeared in a poof of smoke.

"Hey boss," Pakkun said, eyeing Kakashi with a sad look. "You look like hell."

"Thanks," Kakashi said. "I need you to stay here and watch these guys. If someone turns up or if they wake and get free, alert me."

"Sure thing," Pakkun said, and waddled over to relieve himself against one of the restrained ninja's legs. Tenzou pulled a face, but turned to Kakashi with a determined gaze.

"You ready?"

"Yeah." Kakashi said. "I want to make it back fast so…"

"I know, I know," Tenzou said. "If I slow you down, just leave me."

"Right," Kakashi said, unwinding the scarf and pulling up his mask from underneath his clothes. He wasn't about to go whipping through the woods in an itchy woolen scarf.

Kakashi's heart ached as he led Tenzou from the warehouse. The ninja, under a tickling torture Kakashi had learned from Master Jiraiya, had confirmed that Pain had beaten the Rain Village's last leader, Hanzo, and established a new regime. Pain did not wear it much in public, but he usually donned a black cloak with red clouds. He was Akatsuki, and if he had defeated Hanzo, then he was the strongest Akatsuki Kakashi had ever heard of. Even the Sannin had been unable to defeat Hanzo; he'd heard the tale many times from Jiraiya.

It was the nail in the coffin for Kakashi's hope that Sakura might be able to stay with him. With such a strong opponent, it was unlikely that Midara would be able to move openly. Even if she chose to do so, she would need all of the alliances she could get.

Kakashi's fist smarted where he had clobbered that wall. His hand might indeed be broken, but when he'd realized the truth he had been unable to restrain himself. He'd trained Sakura knowing she had what it took to be queen, to rule as her mother did. Now she would be sent off, away from him, to be a piece in somebody else's game. It was beneath her. And he knew he could not follow, although he resolved he would ask; he would try again. But he was no fool. Midara had made it clear to him before he left that she had other plans for him when and if Sakura married and left the kingdom. But what could be more important than keeping Sakura from harm? Perhaps it would be enough, if he could just stay close to her.

Kakashi ran along the edge of town, dimly aware that he was already losing Tenzou, but not caring. It took three weeks to travel here; he was resolved to keep moving until he got home. Already he could see the forest in the distance; just a little farther and he'd at least be out of the Rain Village and away from this infernal mist.

He heard a yell behind him just as Pakkun appeared in his path. Kakashi leaped over the pug and turned on his knee. Immediately he could see what was going on: Tenzou had been stopped by someone the trapped ninja's had warned them about. The Angel.

"Someone found them!" Pakkun said.

"I can see that," Kakashi said grimly. "Go on, Pakkun."

The pug dog disappeared and Kakashi plunged back towards Tenzou, who had erected a series of wooden cages in order to trap her. She was flying with paper wings.

As he neared his friend. Kakashi could see that slips of paper were flying from the woman's wings to stick to Tenzou, and they were constricting him, covering him. He released his woodstyle and rolled away as Kakashi leaped in front of his and aimed a set of shuriken at the woman.

Her face was beautiful, but impassive. She said nothing, but Kakashi recognized her from somewhere. He couldn't quite place her.

A barrage of razor-sharp paper projectile snapped Kakashi back to the present moment. He dodged, but not quickly enough to avoid being sliced in various places.

A wooden column rose up to intercept the purple-haired woman, and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief knowing Tenzou was well enough to perform his jutsu. Quick as lightning, Kakashi rolled to his feet and performed the hand seals for a fury wave. A blast of water erupted from his mouth and hit the flying "angel", soaking her paper form. As he suspected, she slowed somewhat. Apparently her origami jutsu wasn't as effective when wet.

"Tenzou!" Kakashi yelled, throwing a kunai at the angel, which grazed her right side. "A bridge! I need to get close!"

He heard Tenzou's grunted, "Wood style-" and a ramp broke through the damp earth and soared up towards the angel. Kakashi was on it even before it had reached its length, using his chakra to propel him forward, readying a raikiri in his hand. His feet made barely a sound on the wooden surface as he scaled it, closing this distance between him and his attacker. He was best in close combat. This had to work.

He landed his lightning blade in a shower of bright blue sparks.


	10. Chapter 10

. Introductions

One hour into the introductions, and Sakura was completely overwhelmed. She'd never been under the impression that she was ugly, but she certainly wasn't so pretty as to warrant _this_ kind of attention! Perhaps Midara had a reason for inviting all of the prospective grooms to the kingdom at once, but it seemed like foolishness to Sakura. They were all prowling around the ballroom and hissing at each other like cats. Being in the presence of rivals seemed to be too much for Killerbee, whose penchant for making everything rhyme was making Sakura sick to her stomach. Gaara lurked in the corner and stared at her through heavily-made up eyes. Sasori brought her a glass of wine and then left her alone, for which she was grateful. Itachi offered to dance with her but his presence was so overwhelming that she declined. Also she did not know how to dance; that was not one of Kakashi's strong suits as a teacher.

Sakura threw a few smiles around at the various men who attended to her throughout the evening. Killerbee was especially expressive of his approval of her appearance and her general charm, much to Sakura's acute embarrassment. She immediately decided to cross him off the list; he was mortifying. She dodged him after one particularly bad verse, fanning herself as though she needed air. She escaped onto the balcony where she wouldn't feel so many eyes on her.

There were a few people mingling on the balcony, but they were all people who knew her well enough not to bother her. An attentive servant brought her a glass of water and dismissed himself, and Sakura leaned against the balcony, trying to ignore the sound of Killerbee's voice drifting through the open doorway.

She looked up at the night sky and absently rubbed her enameled kunai, hidden under her dress, against her thigh. Where was Kakashi now? Why had he been gone so long? She wished he were with her. At least there would have been somebody to share an eye roll with. Sakura had friends, but they were mostly ninja her age who'd trained with as a girl. They weren't invited to these kinds of gatherings.

Kakashi would have had something to say for Killerbee, and his presence at her elbow would have kept her from being overwhelmed by Itachi's dark aura. He would have glared right back at Gaara until the Prince of the Sand Village looked away. He wouldn't have left her side all evening. He would have hovered close, like he always did, occasionally putting a palm to the small of her back, just beneath her obi….

Sakura felt a rush of heat, and her heart fluttered warningly. It was like she could feel his presence, like he was there with her in that moment, on that balcony. Suddenly he felt very close, and the thought rose up in Sakura's mind.

 _I love him._

 _Poof!_

A puff of smoke lifted up her skirts and Sakura yelped and jumped back. Pakkun had materialized right where she was standing. Kakashi's favorite ninja dog was bedraggled, and his soulful eyes were worried.

"Kakashi!" He barked, then turning, he saw Sakura. "Sakura! Where's Kakashi? Is he with you?"

Icy cold fear gripped Sakura. What could have separated Kakashi from his own summons?

"No, he's away!" Sakura said, dropping to her knees before the tiny pug. "Pakkun, what happened? Why don't you know where he is?"

"He was fighting; he'd sent me away." Pakkun said, scrambling. "But then his contract was broken!" The pug produced a scroll and offered it to Sakura. She took it with shaking fingers. By that time, a crowd had gathered around Sakura. She saw her mother approaching at a brisk pace.

"Pakkun," Sakura said, pocketing the scroll. "Will you come back to me soon?"

"Yes," Pakkun said, for he'd also sensed the many eyes on them. With another _poof_ , he was gone. Sakura stood in time to stop her mother with a brave smile. She managed an eye roll.

"Kakashi," She said. "Sending me messages on his vacation. What an idiot. If you'll excuse me…" and without waiting for a response, she swept past the crowd, out of the ballroom, and back to her own room.

She slammed her chamber door shut behind her and pressed her back into it. She pulled out the scroll Pakkun had given her, and opened it. Pakkun was right; this was his summoning contract with the ninja dogs, and it had been torn down the middle. A thumbprint of Kakashi's blood remained on the scroll, although it looked smeared, like he'd tried to write an 'S'.

Sakura breathed in slowly through her nose to keep from panicking. There could be any number of reasons what Kakashi would sever his ties with the ninja dogs.

But she knew none of them were good reasons.

He'd promised to come back; he'd promised. He'd sat in his favorite chair and held her hands and told her he would come back. She'd just have to believe in him, that he would get out of whatever scrape he was in now.

Sakura sat in silence until Pakkun returned. His doggy eyes were full of tears, but he held a new summoning contract in his mouth. He whined a little bit, curling up in Sakura's lap.

The ninja princess bit her thumb until it drew blood, and drew the blood across the contract. It disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving only a very clingy pug dog.

"It's okay Pakkun," Sakura found herself saying. "I'm here now."


	11. Chapter 11

Confirmation

Pakkun wouldn't leave Sakura's side. The other ninja dogs began appearing too, drawn to her distress. At night they crowded onto her bed, surrounding her as she tried to fall asleep.

Sakura couldn't get much information about any of them. Pakkun wasn't sure what had happened to Kakashi; all he knew was that the copy ninja had severed his contract in the midst of battle, and he hadn't had time to explain.

Sakura's mother came after dismissing herself from the welcome reception that first night, and listened to Pakkun's tale. Her face was white and her hands trembled as much as Sakura's, and Sakura had to remember that she had known Kakashi since he was a little boy; that she'd been trained by the same ninja master. Kakashi was someone Midara truly trusted and she didn't want to lose him any more than Sakura herself did.

The days crawled by. Midara attempted to politely dismiss the gentlemen gathered for Sakura's hand in marriage, but since she couldn't exactly tell them that she'd sent her top ninja on a secret mission, there wasn't a diplomatic way to get them to leave. So they stayed, but Sakura refused to see them. She stayed in her room, waiting. She held Kakashi in her mind, held his memory close to her heart. She went as far as to pack a travel bag and try to sneak out a few times, but someone always caught her climbing out of her window and alerted her mother, who would come and get Sakura herself.

After a week, Sakura felt completely numb. Midara insisted that she visit with the potential grooms, so she spent an excruciating afternoon drinking tea with Gaara, who didn't say much _to_ her but muttered a lot under his breath. The next day she went on a walk through the castle grounds with Killerbee, who insisted on taking her through the outdoor market and buying her gifts. It wouldn't have been that bad if he hadn't climbed onto a stack of boxes to perform his rhyming verses to the shopkeepers.

Sakura put off seeing Itachi for a few days, just because he scared her. But eventually Midara arranged for them to play shoji together. The older Uchiha was an expert player, and although he explained the rules patiently, Sakura couldn't get the hang of it. She was too distracted by how he made her feel; he was dark and overwhelming and in his presence she missed Kakashi the most. Kakashi would have sensed it too and not let her be alone for one minute with someone so troubling.

Sasori didn't bother her and didn't specifically ask to see her, which to Sakura was almost a pity. He was the only one who'd ever treated her marginally well by bringing her a glass of wine and then _leaving her alone_ on the night of the reception.

Two weeks had crept by since she'd made a summoning contract with the ninja hounds. She now smelled thoroughly of Flora Green wherever she went (luckily Pakkun was a pretty hygienic dog and liked to use human shampoo), and she never slept alone. In the morning the other dogs would usually disappear, but Pakkun stayed with her. She welcomed his small presence, and the two spent hours in the courtyard playing hide and seek. Pakkun felt that "fetch" was beneath him.

Sakura was hunting around the large courtyard for Pakkun on a sunny afternoon when she ran into Sasori. The young prince had been sitting on a bench alone. She tried to back away slowly so as not to rouse his attention (she was wearing her ninja training outfit, which showed more skin than her mother would have liked), but Sasori held up a hand in greeting.

"Good afternoon, princess." He said mildly.

"Uh, good afternoon," Sakura replied nervously.

"I believe what you are looking for is in the bushes ahead," Sasori said, pointing. Sakura followed his finger with her gaze and realized that Pakkun pug tail was protruding from a particularly thick flowering shrub. She smiled and tweaked his tail, and he backed up out of the bush, cursing like no dog should ever curse.

"Watch your mouth!" Sakura admonished him. "We're not alone."

"It's not bother," Sasori said. "You should hear my grandmother swear."

"I don't like him" Pakkun said immediately, to Sakura's utter mortification. "He doesn't smell right."

" _Pakkun_ ," Sakura said, "Just...go away!"

Pakkun gave her a mournful stare and _poofed_ out of existence. She looked up at Sasori, who was smiling in a soft, bemused way. "I'm sorry," She told him. "That's my...uh…"

"Oh I recognize him," Sasori said seriously. "He's one of the copy-ninja's hounds, isn't he?"

"Uh, yes."

"Princess?"

"Yes?"

Sasori patted the space next to him on the bench.

"Would you sit with me?"

"Uh, sure."

Sakura sat down, suddenly wary of her naked thighs. Sasori's eyes didn't linger the way Itachi's had, though. He'd stared at her chest for most of their game.

Sasori didn't immediately speak, so Sakura stayed silent too. She considered his face; he was young-looking, possibly the youngest-looking of the bunch. He had bright red hair and soft brown eyes. He wasn't terrible to look at; he was almost as handsome as Itachi without any of the scary-factor.

Finally, Sakura could bear the silence no more.

"So," She began awkwardly. "You were raised by your grandmother?" She knew it might be rude to say it, but she didn't have any other way to start a conversation.

"Yes, Lady Chiyo. She's here, if you would like to meet her," Sasori said. "I believe you spoke to her briefly at the reception."

"Ah," Sakura said, although she couldn't really remember.

"She is a renowned medical ninja," Sasori went on. "And unfailingly loyal. You could learn a lot from her."

"I'm sure I could."

There was another long silence. Sakura looked out onto the courtyard and thought about Kakashi, as she always did. Surely he had gotten out of his predicament, and would be coming home any day. Surely he would come home.

"You look sad," Sasori mentioned. "And worried."

"Ah, well…I'm sorry." Sakura shrugged, knowing she couldn't really explain why.

"No need to apologize, princess. I have also been sad and worried."

"You have?"

Sasori took a deep breath.

"I was raised by my grandmother because my mother and father are dead."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I keep them alive in my memory. There, they are as real to me as anything."

Sakura smiled softly.

"That's a nice thought," She said.

"Princess," Sasori said, and this time he sounded more nervous. Sakura glanced over at him with a brow arched. "Would you like to stay here in your homeland?" He asked.

The question caught her off guard. For a moment, she didn't say anything. Then she nodded, eyes wide. Sasori nodded too, as though he knew her answer. "I have a title," he continued. "And an inheritance. But I am not in like to be King. I do not have to stay in the kingdom of Wind."

"Oh," Sakura said, blushing a little bit.

"I felt you should know all of your options," Sasori continued. "Although I respect Gaara, if you choose him, you will have to leave. Likewise Itachi would remove you to the kingdom of the Uchihas."

"Killerbee is the brother to the king of the lightning country," Sakura countered. "He might also agree to stay."

Sasori nodded, fighting a smile.

"He may agree to stay," He agreed. "Perhaps you should choose him. He is a wonderfully musical fellow."

Sakura's face cracked, and she laughed suddenly. Sasori chuckled briefly.

"He is musical, isn't he?" Sakura said, still smiling, wanting the moment to last.

"I can see the children you would bear him," Sasori continued with a twinkle in his brown eyes, "Each more beautiful than the last. All with rhyming names."

Sakura snorted, shaking her head. "Every edict," Sasori continued, "delivered in verse."

"I'd probably have to rap our wedding vows," Sakura said.

"And perhaps, if you are lucky on your wedding night…" Sasori said with a wide smile, "You might discover what exactly lies beneath those sunglasses."

Sakura made a face, and laughed again. Sasori seemed content, and leaned back to relax more on the bench. Sakura drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. It was warm outside, but Sasori wore a heavy black cloak. Maybe she should suggest they go inside?

She was about to say something when the sound of someone crunching along the gravel made her turn her head.

It was her mother and Tsunade. Their faces were pale and their mouths were drawn. As they came into the courtyard Sakura realized they had someone with them, a ninja. He was dirty, bedraggled, and injured.

It was Tenzou.


	12. Chapter 12

Grief

Sasori didn't need to be told to leave. As soon as Tenzou came into view, he excused himself politely and left through the back of the courtyard. Sakura stared at Tenzou, her heart hammering. She knew he was Kakashi's best friend. She knew, from Pakkun, that he had been with Kakashi on his mission. And his face, his drawn, weary, sorrowful face told her everything she didn't want to know.

"Sakura," Midara began. "Perhaps you should sit down…"

Sakura looked down at herself. At some point she had stood up. Her bare legs were shaking. Tsunade walked over and put an arm around her, helping her to sit down. She felt dizzy.

"Breathe, honey," She heard Tsunade murmur. "We're right here, we're right here with you,"

"No…" Sakura whispered. "No, no, no."

"Princess," Tenzou croaked.

"No," Sakura said louder. Her vision was getting cloudy. "No!"

"I'm sorry…" Tenzou said.

"No! Don't say it!" Sakura choked out, her eyes filling with tears.

"Kakashi…" Tenzou went on, his own voice cracking with emotion.

Sakura shook her head, choking on her tears. Tsunade put her arms around her. Midara placed a hand on her shoulder. Tenzou continued, saying brokenly, "Kakashi didn't survive the mission."

Sakura curled up into a ball, breathing heavily, trying to control the naked panic racing through her. Someone was crying, was it her mother? There were a few moments of silence as Sakura listened to the beating of her own heart.

"Sakura," Midara said, and her voice was thick with emotion. "Sakura sit up. Tenzou...has something to give you."

Sakura lifted her head and looked at the ninja kneeling before her as a sign of respect. His dark eyes were full of unshed tears. Before he spoke, he glanced over at Tsunade uncertainly. She nodded curtly, as though she understood his unasked question.

"Go ahead at say it, Tenzou." She said. Tenzou looked back at Sakura.

"Kakashi's last thoughts were of you, princess." He said. "He...told me to give you this."

Tenzou retrieved a headband marked with the leaf symbol, the symbol of the Kingdom of Konoha. It was scratched, and had been dented on one side as though Kakashi had received a massive blow to the forehead while wearing it. He passed it over to Sakura, who handled it with care, pressing it to her chest.

"I want to go inside," She croaked, barely holding herself together. "I want to be alone."

"Tsunade," Midara said quickly, "Escort Tenzou to a spare room and have the servants bring him a change of clothes. He can bathe and rest."

"Of course," Tsunade said, and with a reassuring squeeze, she let go of Sakura and brought Tenzou to his feet. They left quickly.

After a few moments, Midara helped Sakura up, but the princess was too dizzy to walk very far. She slumped against her mother, her vision fading. It was hard to breathe. The headband in her hand seemed to weigh a hundred pounds.

"You!" She heard her mother's voice snap, but it sounded really far away. "I know you've been listening. Come and make yourself useful."

Sakura heard a rustle, and felt a body press itself against her on her side. Whoever it was supported her weight, then grunted slightly and lifted her clear off of the ground. Sakura blinked up at the face peering down at her. It was Sasori, who had made himself scarce earlier but apparently not gone very far.

Midara held Sakura's hand the whole way, as Sasori carried her carefully into the palace. A throng of servants approached, a few crying, ready to help. Midara waved them off and allowed Sasori to carry Sakura through the palace to her rooms.

Sakura opened her eyes when she felt the familiar brush of her coverlet. Sasori had laid her on her bed and backed away respectfully. He exchanged a few terse words with Midara, and turned to leave.

"You have my condolences, princess," He said before shutting the door behind him.

Sakura knew she would cry more, perhaps she would cry forever. But she didn't want to cry in front of her mother, who sat in Kakashi's chair by the bed.

"I said I wanted to be alone," Sakura said, chin trembling.

"I'll go in a moment," Midara responded softly. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not okay." Sakura said simply. Midara sighed, then sniffled. "Why are you crying?" Sakura croaked, grimacing at her mother, starting to feel angry for some reason. Midara didn't rise to the bait.

"He mattered to me too," She said. "I've known that boy since he was eight years old. He was on my security detail the year I married your father."

Sakura didn't comment. She knew the story.

"He was the tiniest ninja I ever met," Midara continued. "He was trained by my own master. I thought of him...as a…." Her voice cracked, but she composed herself. "He died bravely, and Tenzou was able to bring us intel on the Akatsuki and their leader."

Sakura was feeling desperate.

"Please mother," She said, screwing her eyes shut, "Please just go."

Midara wiped her face with the heel of her palm and stood.

"I'm sending a servant in here with some food in an hour," She said. "I won't make you come to dinner, but please eat when the food arrives. I'm here if you need me."

She swept out of the room, closing the door behind her. Sakura rolled over on the bed, fished her pink kunai out of its holster, held it along with Kakashi's headband in her hands.

Once she started to weep, she couldn't hold back her cries of misery.

Tenzou heard her as he sat in his chambers, washing the back of his neck with a rag.

Midara heard her, having retreated only to a bench in the hallway, unable to walk away from her grieving daughter.

Tsunade heard her, as she sat in the courtyard under the princess' balcony, trying hard not to think about the love she'd lost as a young woman.

And Sasori heard her in his own rooms, as he sat in silence with his grandmother and contemplated what to do next.


	13. Chapter 13

Time

Midara paced her private chambers restlessly, fingering the set of dull shuriken she usually kept in her pocket to help calm her nerves. It had been a month since Tenzou had announced the death of her most trusted advisor, and she still couldn't keep her emotions under control. She wavered between grieving for the young man she'd known as a boy, and wanting to bring him back to life so she could kill him all over again.

She'd suspected, she'd _suspected_ that he harbored feelings for her daughter and she still hadn't done anything about it! What kind of a mother was she? Because it was glaringly obvious now that Sakura was grieving for the loss of a lover, not a teacher. If that no-good white-haired trash-reading mound of despicable pond scum had laid a hand on her teenaged daughter...well it was good he was dead now because he would have had him executed.

Midara felt that she should have known. Sakura had been devoted to him. They spent every moment together. The queen groaned to herself when she remembered the episode where Kakashi had contracted the flu and Sakura insisted he convalesce in her room, in her _bed_.

Midara growled to herself. She should have had him executed while she had the chance. How dare he capture Sakura's affections like that and then go off and fucking _die_? It was selfish, that's what it was. Sakura was alive, but not really living. She hadn't left her room for the first week, then emerged only to sit in the courtyard with Tsunade the second week. She was thin and gray-faced, and that whole pack of ninja dogs shadowed her every move. They were very fond of her, but then again, they always had been even when Kakashi was alive. She was a great favorite of Pakkun, who would sometimes come to visit her when Kakashi hadn't summoned him.

Of course, the dogs were hers now. She'd signed a summoning contract with them. If she wanted to keep them with her constantly, there wasn't much Midara could do about it. It was clear that they comforted her to some degree, which the queen supposed was a good thing.

Sakura could now be counted on to get out of bed in the morning and stay awake all day. She still avoided most people, although she seemed to find comfort in Tsunade's presence. Midara knew Tsunade had lost a lover when she was young too, as well as a younger brother. Perhaps the kunoichi was in a better place to understand the princess. Midara wasn't above feeling a little jealous, but what could she do? She had lost her own husband, but she hadn't known him that well by the time he'd died and she was naturally stonier than her daughter. She knew people thought she was cold-hearted.

Well, she _wasn't_ cold-hearted, she thought as she scrubbed at her cheeks. The memory of Kakashi as a boy kept creeping into her mind, making her feel sad and vulnerable all over again. She could hardly remember how he had looked as a grown man. Whenever she tried to remember him, all she could see was his father, Sakumo.

Midara scrubbed her cheeks a little more and sat at her vanity, intent on making sure no one knew she'd escaped breakfast to come in here and cry. Watching Sakura sit at the table with hollow eyes was too much for her. How long could the grieving continue?

As she applied makeup, she considered her options. She could talk to Tsunade, perhaps urge her to try to get Sakura more functional. She could send the men away and postpone the whole marriage affair. That wasn't the best option considering what Tenzou had told her about the mysterious ninja who'd murdered Kakashi. She needed an army larger than the one she had, and she needed to move quickly. Already she'd wasted too much time. She could consider the marriage offers she'd received herself. Ally herself with another kingdom, produce another heir. She was still relatively young; she could have more children.

Midara's hand drifted down to the box on her vanity where she kept her correspondence. One by one, she withdrew the scrolls and considered them, as she had done many times before.

Hanzo. But according to Tenzou he was dead now.

Orochimaru. But Tsunade was nervous about that one.

Onoki. He was powerful, but old.

And then there was the one she'd kept longer than all the others, and read so many times it was beginning to wrinkle and fray.

Toby. A fellow named Toby, whom she'd never met. But she knew him by reputation; his lands stretched far to the south of Konoha. His scroll was by far the best, detailing both what he had to offer as a ruler and as a husband. He tempted her with a detailed catalogue of what his army had to offer and a well-thought-out plan for how they would rule both kingdoms together. If anyone could help her defeat the Akatsuki, it was him, wasn't it?

Midara returned the scrolls to the box, leaving Toby's at the top. She remembered Kakashi's unease when she had first received the proposal. But things were different now, with the kingdom on the edge of war. What would the copy ninja say now? She'd never know.

Midara's only other option was to try to talk Sakura into going ahead and marrying one of the clueless morons who had assembled (and who _refused to leave_ ) to win her hand. Perhaps it had been a mistake inviting them all at once. Midara had hoped some healthy competition would have made the men more eager to be nice to Sakura to win her affection, but it only seemed to heighten the competitiveness between the men. Sakura had barely spoken to any of them in the last month and still they lingered, no one being willing to be the first one to admit defeat and go home.

Midara's brow furrowed as she applied more mascara. There was one person Sakura had seen more than the others. Sasori. He was the only one of the potential grooms who knew that Sakura had lost a loved one. Everybody else knew that she had simply lost one of her bodyguards. But Sasori had been there, and had known she cared for Kakashi more than a princess would ever care for someone who was just a bodyguard. In the last month, he'd paid her one or two visits as she sat in the courtyard. Midara wasn't sure what they talked about, but Sakura didn't immediately leave when he arrived so she supposed that must be something.

Sasori...he was a good option. Marry him, and Sakura could stay at home, but the queen would have access to the Suna army. It might take a little extra negotiating with the Sand Kingdom, but it could be worth it. Midara knew she couldn't send Sakura away in this state, and perhaps a swift marriage to a reasonably nice young man would help soothe her aching heart.

Midara stood from the vanity with a new sense of purpose. She knew Sakura would not be backed into a marriage she didn't want to undertake, so it would take some planning to make her comfortable.

Time to talk to that grandmother...Lady Chiyo was wise and wily and would know how to get the two kids to fall in love.


	14. Chapter 14

Six Weeks Later

Sakura wished everybody would just leave her alone.

It wasn't exactly fair...nobody really ever spoke to her much anymore. It was more the way they _didn't_ speak to her. Their silence was loud, because it was heavy with sympathy. Everybody on earth irritated her right now.

Sakura knew she was worrying her mother, and she knew she should get up, wash her face, and move on with her life. She knew that she should at least try to be brave, and every night she told herself the next day would be better. But every morning she would wake up with the same hollow grief in her heart. She would go back to sleep just to put off feeling it again. Some days she would lay awake in bed all morning, torturing herself by lingering on thoughts of Kakashi. His crazy hair. His lazy drawl. The way his eyes lingered on her bare stomach when they sparred. One time she'd called him out on his staring and he told her he was just trying to cast a genjutsu to make her thinner. She'd pounded him in the cement, and it had taken them four days to repair the damage (which Midara had insisted they do themselves to learn a lesson). She remembered how when she caught the flu from him, he'd stayed in the chair by the bed all night so she could hold his hand as she slept. She remembered the last time she'd healed him after a fight, and the way he'd leaned into her touch a little too much, their faces close. It was exquisitely painful to remember these things, but Sakura felt that the memories of him were the only thing tethering her to reality.

Pakkun and the other dogs were devoted to her, often voicing their concern about her scent (apparently they could smell how sad she was). Pakkun had shed tears of his own once he was told of Tenzou's news. He had huddled with Sakura on the bed for a solid week, until the other dogs began popping up to see where he had gone.

Sakura knew people must think it was weird, for her to go around all day with ninja dogs. But she didn't give a shit about any of them anymore. Even her mother avoided her.

"You're hair is getting longer," Pakkun's voice broke into Sakura's thoughts. She was sitting up in bed, trying to decide if it was worth it to try to go outside today.

"Is it?" She asked. "I guess it grew."

"Are we going for a walk today? I would fancy a walk. Maybe a bath."

"Pakkun for the last time, I'm not taking a bath with you. Take a bath by yourself."

"It's unnatural to take a bath by yourself," Pakkun replied loftily. "Someone's got to wash your back."

"I'll _give_ you a bath then," Sakura said, slipping on a robe.

"You have to be in the bath _with_ me for it to work. I can do your back too. You'd like my paws. They're so soft." Pakkun lifted his front paws to Sakura for inspection.

"I know they're soft, Pakkun," Sakura told him patiently. "How about this, I'll put my bikini on and sit in the tub with you, will that do?"

"How are you going to get clean in a bikini?" Pakkun protested. "You should be naked. Look, I'll get naked too…" and he wriggled out of his headband and cape. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"You are just as big a pervert as him," She said, then wished she hadn't. Pakkun's face drooped, and her own heart sunk painfully. She cast around for something to distract her, but there wasn't much to do, especially if she didn't want to leave her room to do anything.

"Fine," She said after a moment. "Let's have a bath."

 **A bath with Pakkun** turned into a bath with the whole pack. Sakura was glad her room had a large claw-foot tub in it. The dogs trailed soap everywhere, since many of them got too excited to stay in the bath for long. Bull sat behind her to support her back while Pakkun scrubbed her feet, desperate for her to praise the softness of his little paws. Sakura in turn scrubbed Pakkun's back, and even made herself a crown of soap suds. Shiba got so excited that Sakura had to get out of the tub and grab him before he made a mess of the whole room. A few other dogs got excited and danced around, playfully nipping at Sakura's heels as she stumbled, naked, trying to keep wet dogs from climbing into her bed and burrowing into her blankets. Sakura laughed at their antics, feeling like it was her first laugh in years.

It was unfortunate that at that moment Midara chose to arrive at the door. Unaccustomed to hearing such a noise from Sakura's room, she opened the door wide without knocking. This presented Sasori, whom she'd brought with her, with a fine few of a completely naked Sakura covered in soap suds trying to shake a dog off of her leg.

He may have hidden a smile before he turned his back.

Sakura, for her part, wilted immediately upon seeing her mother. Face heating up, she snatched a throw blanket and covered herself.

"Pardon me," She said. "The dogs-"

"Sakura!" Midara cut in, taking in the scene with horror. "What in the hells were you doing?"

"We were only having a bath!" Pakkun said indignantly. Sakura aimed a kick at him but missed.

"Naked!" Was all the reply Midara could summon. Pakkun rolled his eyes like this was the most obvious statement in the world.

"How else is she supposed to get clean!" He exclaimed.

"Pakkun, can you just go for a few minutes?" Sakura breathed, face reddening. Pakkun huffed but he disappeared along with all the other dogs.

"I'll just wait in the hallway, shall I?" Sasori said with his back still turned. sakura quickly tied on a robe, brushing her wayward hair out of her face.

"No, it's okay," She said, feeling like she might as well get this over with, whatever it was. Sasori turned around cautiously and then bowed courteously to Sakura.

"Princess," He said. "I was hoping you would consider walking with me in the gardens. Your mother thought you could use some air."

"Oh, well I…" Sakura faltered, fingering the hem of her robe.

"She'll meet you outside, young man." Midara cut in. "Let me have a few moments to help her get, ah, dressed."

Sasori nodded and left, sweeping down the hall in his long black robe. Sakura glared at her mother.

"I do NOT want to go walking with him!" She hissed.

Midara closed the door behind her with a click.

"Well you're going. He's a nice man, Sakura. How long are you going to mourn?"

Sakura's eyes prickled a little bit, but she held the tears back.

"It's only been a month, mother!" She said. "He was...he was my _best friend_."

Midara hissed in anger as she opened up Sakura's closet to find a kimono for her to wear.

"He was more than that, don't think I don't know it," She said. Sakura's jaw dropped.

"What?" She said. "No...what are you saying?"

"A woman doesn't cry for nearly _three months_ to mourn the loss of a _bodyguard_ Sakura. I know there was more to the relationship than what you're telling me."

"He _was_ more than my bodyguard!" Sakura exclaimed, face heating up in anger. "I already told you he was my friend!"

"If he touched you," Midra growled she snatched clothing, clips, and hair combs off the floor of Sakura's room, "I'll kill him."

"He _didn't_ touch me," Sakura said, brokenly. Tears spilled down her cheeks. "And he's already dead, mother."

Midara gave up the effort to clean Sakura's filthy room and sat in a swirl of silk on the bed. Sakura retreated to her couch and curled up in it.

"You're telling me there was nothing between you two?" Midara asked carefully. Sakura rolled away from her, burrowing into the cushions, curled up into a little ball.

"What does it matter now?" She groaned.

"Sakura...I need to know." Midara said gently. "I'm your mother. You can tell me. Are you...are you still a virgin?"

Sakura shot up angrily.

"Is that what you're after?" She screamed. "You just want to sell me off, so you want to know if the merchandise has been touched?"

"I DON'T want to sell you off!" Midara shouted back, "But the Akatsuki are moving and we are going to be at war in weeks Sakura! You are my daughter, my only child. You have a duty to your kingdom!"

"And what is that duty...to keep my legs closed until you can auction me off to somebody in exchange for an army?"

"Sakura if you've already...I mean virginity doesn't matter to all men...if you've...it can't be helped. But I just want to _know_."

"Kakashi never touched me that way," Sakura said fiercely. "He was my best friend and my teacher and my closest ally. He was the person who mattered most to me in the world. And I think if he hadn't gone on his mission….he held my hands before he left. He sent Pakkun to me….I think...I think if he had stayed, then maybe it would have happened." Sakura sobbed brokenly. "But then he never came back, so it doesn't matter."

Midara tried and failed to look like this news was not a tremendous relief for her. Sakura stared at her, disgusted, then returned to her spot on the couch. Midara sat down near her legs.

"Sakura," She said softly. "I promise I won't force you into a marriage. But out of all the men here, I think Sasori can hope to understand you best. He understands loss; he lost both of his parents. He's already spoken to me about moving here, and his grandmother approves. She would come with him and help you continue you medical training. This way, you would never have to leave, and I could rest easy knowing you would inherit Konoha as I always wanted you to."

Sakura sniffled into the cushions.

"You don't have to make a decision right away, although I'm hoping you can decide relatively quickly. Just go on a walk with him today, okay? I think you'll find him reassuring. And then tomorrow, maybe you two and go to the market, or take the horses out. Just one day at a time, okay?"

"I don't feel anything for him," Sakura said, her voice muffled by pillows.

"I didn't feel anything for your father either, Sakura." Midara said sadly. "I was in love with someone else entirely. My teacher too, actually. But marrying your father brought me you, brought me this kingdom. It was an even trade for my heart."

She stood up and fetched a soft blue kimono from where it lay on the bed. She draped it over Sakura's legs. "Sit up, sweetie." She said. "I'll fix your hair myself."


	15. Chapter 15

Prisons

Kakashi had taken longer than usual to accept the fact that he wasn't dead. He should have been dead, but somehow he wasn't. That wasn't good news, though. If he were alive, that meant they had plans for him.

He had lost count of the days, which was probably because he'd been hit in the head so hard that he hadn't woken up right away once they threw him in the cell. For several days after he did wake up, his head felt fuzzy and he had trouble remembering things. It all came back to him eventually. He wished it hadn't.

He was chained up against the wall, which was less than comfortable considering the wall was damp and gritty, and he seemed to be sitting directly in a puddle growing some kind of nuclear-looking algae. His headband was missing, as was his flak jacket and his mask. His hair was longer than it should have been, which was the only real clue to Kakashi about how long he'd been held in the prison.

Kakashi had been in tight spots before. Ninja were notoriously difficult to contain in prisons. It's why enemy ninja usually just killed each other. Kakashi was _not_ particularly happy to be alive at the moment. He had prepared himself for death. It felt insultingly anti-climactic to see your life flash before your eyes and do your best to confess your feelings for the girl you loved and then _not_ die. He'd even severed ties with his summons, hoping Pakkun and the others would make it to Sakura. They'd always liked her a little more than him anyway. She would take care of them, and they could help protect her.

Kakashi grunted and shifted his weight. Thinking about Sakura made his chest throb with a kind of painful warmth. He'd promised her he would return. She'd been more nervous than usual to let him go. That day in her room...he'd indulged himself, reaching out for her. He'd wanted so badly to put his arms around her. He almost had. It had been hard to leave the room. And now...now he likely would die, eventually. He'd broken his promise, and with a sinking feeling in his stomach he realized suddenly that she was going to have to break her promise to him.

What had her mother said? That she always asked after him when he was away? He was astonished that he could have missed the growing affection between them for so long. Sure, he'd found her attractive just _slightly_ before it wasn't pervy to do so, but being with her and being devoted to her...these were things that had always been there. Somehow those feelings had grown. When Midara first confided to him that she was considering Sakura marrying someone away from the kingdom, his first feeling was hot, gut-churning jealousy. Sakura was the most incredible young woman he'd ever known. She was physically small but her chakra-aided strength was monstrous. She'd always been so adept at controlling chakra that she didn't always know she was doing it. Even before she learned Tsunade's destructive fighting style, she could use her own chakra to give herself speed and strength that matched Kakashi's. She was also smarter than him, a fact he did his best to keep from her. She worked harder, studied longer, and learned faster than he did. True, he had been a child ninja prodigy. But Sakura's focus and determination equaled his natural prowess.

Sakura was funny, too. She laughed easily, got angry at the drop of a hat, and forgave fully. She swore like a sailor. She loved bath products, like new shampoos and bubble baths. He'd been tempted at times to get her something like lotion or perfume as a gift, but always defaulted to weapons because they felt less personal. For her last birthday he'd dithered over a glass jar of expensive cherry-scented bath oil before he'd decided to commission her a new kunai. He couldn't bring himself to buy the bath oil without imagining her using it.

Kakashi swore to himself that if he ever got out of this prison he would buy her a hundred bottles of bath oil, along with a dozen enameled kunai and all the lip gloss she could ever want. Plus about ten of those lacy things he saw in her room. And he'd tell her he loved her and he'd do all the things to her that he constantly tried not to vividly picture. And he'd make sure she never had to marry anyone she didn't want to marry because he would marry her first. He'd marry her himself. And then she could be queen and he could be her bodyguard and everyone who thought that was a weird arrangement could go fuck themselves.

And whenever he got wounded she would heal him. And whenever she got sick he would hold her hand. And he'd wake up next to her every day, and hold her every night as he fell asleep. He'd scrub her back in the bathtub and she would occasionally give him one of those scalp massages she was so good at.

Kakashi pulled a wry face to himself in the dark. Being imprisoned was turning him into some kind of romantic. The truth of it was...he knew he would never get out of here. He was physically strong on his own, but that's why they hadn't interrogated him yet. Better to leave him on his own until the last of his strength and will to live drained away. On top of his own skill, he had the sharingan, but they'd taken care of that too.

The new skin forming over the sealed eye itched, but with his arms bound, Kakashi couldn't scratch it. He tried not to think about it. They'd sealed his sharingan eye shut at some point while he was unconscious. When he'd woken up, all he could feel was a burning, sizzling pain. He didn't even know if the eye was there anymore.

That's when he knew he would die.

He just had to figure out a way to get it done before they interrogated him. Without his strength, without his eye, he was still a ninja and he would never talk voluntarily. But he knew that there were many ways of penetrating an enemy's defenses and it's possible the Akatsuki did too. He shuddered at the thought of someone invading his memories, unearthing the intel he held on Konoha. But what scared him the most was that anyone interrogating him would find out how much he cared for Sakura, and they might decide to bet on the idea that she cared as much for him.

He would not allow that.

With his arms chained to the wall behind him, and being so weak as he was, it wasn't easy to summon a raikiri. But he had to try.


	16. Chapter 16

Dates

Sakura hated everybody.

She hated everyone in the palace right now. She hated her mother for dusting her off and dragging her back into public life. She hated her old friends, who barely spoke to her but looked at her with weary dismay. She hated her servants, who scuttled around her like they were afraid she would explode at any moment. She hated the angry, sullen girl she saw in the mirror. She knew she'd been attractive before but there was something off about her face now; it was a wonder the potential grooms were still interested in her, especially after the rumor of her alleged affair with Kakashi had spread. She supposed she was such a valuable piece in the political game they were playing that they were all willing to overlook the fact that she was all used up.

Of course it was all just a rumor. Sakura knew now that she had loved the copy ninja but he was dead and they'd never so much as kissed. He had been her teacher, and he'd always been the perfect gentleman. Well, he hadn't really always been the perfect gentleman, but he'd come very close to it. She blushed now, remembering the way he used to look at her. Kakashi didn't exactly have a smoldering romantic gaze. His one exposed eye was kind of lazy-looking. But there was something about the indolence, the way the dark eye lingered on her, that had always made her insides warm.

Sakura scowled at the floor and she felt the familiar wave of pleasure at the memory of Kakashi, only to be snuffed out painfully by the crushing grief of his loss. Did people ever get over losing someone so important to them? Would she ever be happy to be alive again?

Midara had tied her hair up in a complicated knot, and folded Sakura into a muted blue dress which folded like a kimono but flared gently outwards like an everyday dress, making it easier to walk in. It was tied together with a cream-colored silk obi. Sakura knew the outfit looked fetching, even if it did hang off of her slightly. Apparently she'd lost some weight.

Sasori was waiting politely in the garden, wearing his ever-present black over-cloak. His bright red hair glinted in the sunlight as he smiled gently at Sakura. She smiled back wanly. At least he wasn't giving her the sad gaze that everybody else did. Maybe he could be counted upon to keep his mouth shut, she thought to herself as Midara swept away, leaving them alone in the fragrant gardens.

"Princess," Sasori said, holding out his hand. Sakura had no choice but to take it politely. He was wearing thin leather gloves. "May I say again how sorry I am for your loss."

Ah. So he _wasn't_ going to keep his mouth shut.

"I'm fine." She said, pulling her hand away and scowling. "I'm better when I don't have to talk about it."

"Yes, but if I had not said it, it would have been hanging between us for this whole encounter." Sasori countered in a soft voice. "Do you doubt my sincerity?"

Sakura was taken aback, but she tried not to show it.

"No," She answered cautiously.

"I want you to know that you can talk to me about him." Sasori said. "I understand that he must have been very important to you. I was here when you first heard of his loss."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that I'm not like the others here. You won't have to pretend with me that he was only your bodyguard. I know the truth, and you know I know. So if you need to talk, I'm here."

"You just want me to accept your proposal," Sakura said, folding her arms and cocking her hip. Sasori smiled and nodded.

"It's true that would make me very happy." He said, "But that doesn't mean I don't have a heart. I feel for you Sakura. It pains me to know that you are suffering." He reached out and took her hand again. Cautiously, he threaded her hand through his arm so they were arm in arm. "Shall we walk?" he asked, gesturing ahead. Sakura nodded, a little uneasy.

They moved through the gardens in silence for several minutes. They stopped at a blue-flowering plant to watch a delicate butterfly. They observed the comforting neatness of the rock garden. They walked underneath the cherry blossoms. After a while, Sakura could bear the silence no more.

"He wasn't what everybody thinks he was," She said softly. If Sasori was surprised by her speaking, he didn't show it. She continued. "The rumors you heard….about us… they aren't true."

"You weren't lovers?" Sasori asked. Sakura's stomach clenched painfully.

"No."

"I see."

Sakura eyed his placid face. "You don't believe me."

"I _believe_ ," Sasori said, sighing. "That you have a very good reason in this situation to lie, and so I do not blame you for it."

"He was my _bodyguard_." Sakura said, her voice shaking a little bit. "Nothing more."

"I understand, Princess." Sasori replied smoothly, but the squeeze her gave her arm made her feel like he still thought she was compelled to lie. Sakura sighed and pulled away from him to sit on the lip of a marble fountain. Let him think what he wanted. She knew most of the kingdom probably thought she was some kind of tragic heroine now.

Sasori sat down next to her. She reached out to feel the fabric of his cloak.

"Aren't you hot in this?" She asked. "I never see you take it off."

"Ah, you'll have to accept my proposal to see that," Sasori said with a wink. Sakura recoiled for a second, but the absurdity of the comment made her laugh. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you flirting with me?" She asked.

"Maybe a little," He replied, shrugging. "I'm not very good at it."

"No you're not," Sakura agreed, but she was smiling all the same. "That was a little abrupt."

"Ah, so flirting requires some kind of warm up?"

"Uh, yeah." Sakura said. "You can't just blurt something out."

Sasori nodded, appearing to think.

"Show me," he said, as though this were a great idea.

"Show you what?" Sakura asked.

"Flirting."

"Oh...uh, no." Sakura replied. "I didn't say I was any good at it either!"

"You've never flirted?" Sasori asked, eyebrow raised.

Sakura thought back, but she realized the only person she'd really flirted with was Kakashi. He used to pinch her hip as he brushed by, and she would call him a pervert. She had sometimes "healed" him for a little longer than was strictly necessary while he enjoyed bumping his nose against her temple and trying to hide the fact that he was smelling her hair. Were these things flirting? Sometimes they stayed out late after dinner, sparring in the meadow behind the palace and then lying on their backs in the grass and looking at that stars.

Sakura's insides warmed at the memory, and then twisted again in pain. She hadn't really flirted with Kakashi. Everything they'd done had been like a slow build up to something better than flirting. Maybe that's why she felt so incomplete, like she was still waiting for him to come home. What they'd been moving slowly towards….now it would never come.

"I'm sorry, I've made you sad again." Sasori said quietly. Sakura shook her head.

"No, it's okay. You're right. I've never flirted."

"Perhaps we are on even footing then," Sasori responded smoothly, and he took her hand in his and held it.

Sakura nearly pulled her hand away and stood, but the contact felt good. She leaned into his side slightly and he adjusted, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and holding on to her opposite hand. She rested her forehead in the crook of his neck.

"You're safe with me, Sakura." Sasori murmured into her hair. Sakura's heart broke a little bit, and she felt oddly like she was betraying Kakashi. She accepted the feeling, accepted the responsibility. She _was_ betraying Kakashi, but she had to move on. He wasn't coming home.

Sasori's embrace was cool and smooth. He smelled like leather and weapon oil, which was different than Kakashi, who usually smelled like Pakkun. Sakura closed her eyes and sighed.

"Okay." She said.

"Okay?" Sasori asked, sounding confused.

Sakura sat up to look at his gentle face.

"Okay I'll marry you."


	17. Chapter 17

Questions

"You can't dodge me forever. Where are the ninja barracks?"

Kakashi traveled his mind through the forest to get to the Rain Village. He imagined the path before him, the huge ferns growing in clumps around decaying tree stumps….

"Where is the Nine Tails?"

The forest had been warm in the afternoons but cooler in the evening. He felt like he'd been running through it for hours, for days. He could smelled burning flesh. He knew it was his own but he couldn't seem to feel it anymore.

"Ninja! Answer me, where is the nine tails?"

Ah, there was the pain he'd been missing. Kakashi paused only momentarily in his trek through the forest. He had been running but now he could only plod through the undergrowth like some kind of beetle. More voices were speaking around him, but he was no longer seeing anything but the forest.

"He's using a technique," a voice said. "Something to block his memories."

"I can't seem to crack him" a second voice said. It was shaking. Kakashi felt fingers on his head tremble for a moment, then disappear. He took the opportunity to sit and catch his breath, focusing on the sounds of the forest around him but unable to block out the conversation.

"You've got to get him to think of something to get your foot in the door, then you can force it open."

"You do it then, I'm tired! I've used most of my chakra!"

"I don't have this jutsu you idiot!"

"Fine, but…."

"Something emotional. Something he doesn't want to remember."

"Okay...okay."

Kakashi got up and began to run again, looking for something else to explore. Perhaps he could find the river, ah….there it was. Should he swim? Water would be wonderfully cool on his tired body.

"Ninja!" The voice called to him, and he could feel hands on his body, hands he couldn't see, holding him back. He dropped to his knees, trying to reach the river. "Where is home?"

"This forest is my home," Kakashi croaked. "I've got a lovely river here for baths….it's very comfortable."

"Home, ninja. Where is home?"

Kakashi focused on the sunlight streaming through the forest canopy. He watched a butterfly float through the air. The pain was back. It hurt. The butterfly disappeared.

"You got him, keep going."

"Why are you sad, ninja? You've been away from home a long time."

Away from home. Yes. He had been away from home a long time. It would be nice to sleep. Maybe he should sleep.

"Would you like to sleep in your own bed?"

"My bed is right here," Kakashi said, but he could no longer feel the earth beneath him. He'd been in the forest for so long. So long. Tenzou had been there with him for a while.

"I've got something!" The voice shouted. Suddenly Tenzou burst into life in front of Kakashi. The copy ninja groaned under the weight of the memory.

"It's my birthday! How could you forget my birthday you idiot!" Tenzou said, indignant.

"Who is this person to you?" The voice said.

"I'm only his best friend!" Tenzou shouted. "Except maybe he doesn't love me at all!"

"Who is your best friend?" The voice asked, sounding excited. "Who is it that you love?"

Kakashi roared, every muscle in his body tense. Pain, pain blinded him. Pain made him sick, made him sad, made him want to go home. Made him want her, he wanted her, her wanted her…

 _Sakura_.

And she burst into view just ahead of him. Dimly, he heard gasps and somebody cheered. Someone was running; he could hear footsteps on concrete. He was shaking violently, the shock of seeing her like a lightning shot through his veins. But he still couldn't move. His wrists were chained together in front of him. He couldn't stand.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura said, her voice shaking with emotion.

"No, Sakura," Kakashi groaned. "Don't."

"What's happened to you?" She said, appalled. Tears streamed from her emerald eyes.

"I'm fine," Kakashi said. "Don't….no..."

"You're not fine…" Sakura said. She stepped forward and dropped to her knees in front of him. She was so close. Kakashi tried to make her disappear, but he wanted to see her too much.

"I've missed you," She said sadly.

"I'll kill you," Kakashi said, but he wasn't looking at his memory of Sakura. He was looking at the ninja crouched before him, holding his head. "If you touch her I'll kill you."


	18. Chapter 18

Secrets

Tsunade had a problem. She'd finished her last stockpile of sake, and the moron who usually supplied her habit on the sly had gone and gotten himself killed, breaking the heart of the only person Tsunade really cared about anymore.

Midara disapproved of drinking to excess, which Tsunade thought was frankly ridiculous. As the queen of a nation on the brink of war, she could probably use a stiff drink more than anyone.

Tsunade stared mournfully at her cabinet full of empty bottles and sighed. Where had Kakashi gotten her booze? The palace cook had been told not to serve her anything stiffer than prune juice ever since the unfortunate incident with the llama.

She shut the doors to her secret cabinet and turned back to her closet, where she had been in the process of selecting something to wear (seeing herself in the mirror had necessitated her trip to the cabinet). She looked through her small collection of gowns, kimonos, and robes. Hmmm, what _did_ one wear to sham wedding motivated by political expediency, where an exceedingly bright and talented young woman was forced to use herself like a bargaining chip in an upcoming war?

 _Damn._ Tsunade thought, _I need to make sure not to give a toast._ She snatched her favorite olive green outfit and slipped it on. Perhaps refusing to dress up would be enough of a protest to make a statement but not so much as to get her head cut off. But of course you never knew with Midara.

Tsunade tied her hair back into low pigtails and checked her face in the mirror. Now nearing sixty, she grew increasingly paranoid of each miniscule crease in her face. What was the point of living if you looked old? And how was she supposed to handle this anxiety _sober_?

She blew out of her room, her low heels clicking on the marble floors. She was late for the ceremony but what the hell. Nobody took her seriously anymore. Since Kakashi had died Sakura hadn't come back to her for more training, and Tsunade was worried her time as the princess' teacher might be coming to an end.

Tsunade's heavy thoughts distracted her enough that at first she blew right past the sweaty ninja hovering just outside the door to the large ceremony hall. She stopped a few steps past him and did a double take.

"Tenzou?" She asked. The wood-style user was in his best greens and blacks, obviously headed to the wedding. But he was dithering on the threshold, drenched in sweat and obviously nervous. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, Tsunade...didn't see you."

"You going in?" Tsunade peeked through the doors. There weren't many seats left.

"Ah, well…." Tenzou's face was white and strained. Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him.

"You are the worst ninja," She said. "I can tell you have a secret. How is it that I can tell you have a secret? Are you that unhinged?"

Tenzou's nervous laugh morphed into a cough and he choked a little bit. Tsunade grabbed his arm and pulled him around the corner. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed at him, shaking him enough to warn him she could snap him in half if she wanted.

"It's...it's just…I can't decide if I should tell her," Tenzou said. "I hung around all this time looking for the chance...but I never had the time...I didn't know. Maybe it would have made it worse for her."

"What did you want to tell her?"

"And now she's about to get married and I don't know..there's no chance he's alive but I think she should know."

"Shit, is this about Kakashi?"

Tenzou looked up at her and to Tsunade's horror, his eyes filled with tears. She did not want to see him cry. She'd seen tears enough in her life. "What is it? Just tell me," She said, trying to sound gentle (it wasn't an easy sound for her).

"Kakashi knew he was going to die," Tenzou said thickly. "We had the first one, but when the Pains showed up...he knew he was the only one who could hold them off. They had a visual jutsu that only the Sharingan could deal with."

"I know all of this; it was in your report."

"But what you don't know," Tenzou said sadly, "Was what he said to me before he went back to fight, before he sent me away."

"Was it about Sakura?" Tsunade asked. Tenzou nodded slowly, and then inhaled a deep breath.

"He told me what he wanted me to tell her, and I didn't. I didn't tell her because I was afraid it would only hurt her more. And now I don't know if I should tell her before she gets married."

"What did he want her to know?" Tsunade said. Tenzou looked at her seriously.

"You didn't already know? I could see it from a mile away."

"That he wanted her? Yes, I was beginning to worry about that. Was it true?"

"True that he wanted her. As far as I know, nothing else is true from the rumors that have been circulating."

Tsunade chewed her lip.

"Tell me what he said," She said to the sweating ninja. "And I'll decide if she needs to hear it."


	19. Chapter 19

Resignation and Reservations

Sakura tried not to notice how her mother's hands shook as she tied up the princess' hair. She wanted to roll her eyes. Everyone still thought she was so fragile, and after weeks of pressure she'd finally caved in to the "future" everyone had in mind for her, and now it looked like it was her mother who was the most nervous about it!

Sakura stared at her pale face in the mirror. She'd applied some makeup to try to give herself more color, but wasn't doing much good. She was still less colorful than she normally was. She supposed some of that color might never come back. For her wedding she'd had a special kimono made. The silk was deep purple and embroidered with fans. It was beautiful, stunning, actually. She'd chosen the bright color on purpose hoping it would distract from her face. And the rest of her.

"Mother, I'll do it." Sakura said, reaching up to stop her mother from messing the hair. Midara snorted and stepped back.

"Sorry hon," She said, twisting her hands. "I guess I'm a little keyed up."

A knock sounded at the door and Tsunade slipped in. She looked a little white in the face herself. Sakura warmed a little at the sight of her. One thing she did not have to do around Tsunade was pretend she was okay. In the weeks following the news of Kakashi's death, Tsunade had confided in Sakura about her own lover and his death. She never asked Sakura if she and Kakashi had been in love; she had just shared bits of wisdom like, "Everyone it going to expect you to bounce back. Fuck them. Take as long as you need."

"Tsunade," Midara said curiously. "You should find a seat. We are nearly ready."

"I understand your majesty," Tsunade said. "But I wanted a word with Sakura before she signed her life away to some creep from the Sand."  
Sakura smiled in spite of herself. Trust Tsunade to always say what was on her mind.

"She's not signing her life away!" Midara said, although she was still wringing her hands nervously. "Sakura will live at home-"

"It's okay mother," Sakura said quietly. "You don't have to feel guilty about this. I know what I'm doing."

"I need to talk to her," Tsunade said. "I have...a message."

"Mother let me talk to her alone, okay?" Sakura said, turning to the queen. Midara hesitated for a moment, then swept out of the room muttering to herself. The two or three servants who had been employed trying to fold some elaborate kimonos into suitcases for Sakura's "honeymoon" scuttled out of the room after her. Tsunade came in and sat on the edge of Sakura's bed with a sigh.

"So you think I'm throwing my life away?" Sakura asked dryly.

"I don't know Sakura," Tsunade said sadly. "I'm sad that you ever had to make this choice."

"I would have had to make a choice like this at some point," Sakura pointed out. "I'm a princess, my mother has no other children. I always knew I would be traded off like this."

"That's not true, and you know it." Tsunade responded. "If the Akatsuki weren't making a play for the tailed beasts then you would have been free to choose whatever moron you wanted."

"Really? Whatever moron I wanted?" Sakura asked archly. Tsunade swallowed visibly. It wasn't often that Sakura saw Tsunade look nervous. "Tsunade, what did you come to tell me?" She said again.

"I ran into Tenzou outside." Tsunade said. "He was nervous about the wedding, because he had something he was supposed to tell you, and didn't."

Sakura's heart clenched. Tsunade patted the spot next to her on the bed. Sakura moved over to sit next to her teacher, heart hammering. Tsunade took a breath. "It's from Kakashi," She said heavily. Sakura gasped.

"Is he...is he alive?" She asked, eyes wide.

"No, no…" Tsunade said quickly. "God, Sakura, I'm sorry."

Sakura slumped over a little bit, trying not to cry. Tears gathered in her eyes. Tsunade held her up, tutting gently as Sakura sucked air in and out, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Sorry," She said in a choked voice. "I just...sometimes I feel like there's no way he can be gone. I thought you were going to tell me he...I don't know. Maybe he survived."

"I don't think he could have," Tsunade said gently. "Sakura I know one thing. If he had survived, nothing could have stopped him from coming home."

Sakura laughed weakly.

"How could you know that?" She said. "You believe what everyone says about us?"

"Sakura, Kakashi loved you." Tsunade said firmly. Sakura stopped breathing for a second.

"Of course he did," She said. "He was my teacher."

"He loved you, Sakura." Tsunade repeated. "And before he died he told Tenzou to give you a message. Tenzou didn't tell you because he was afraid it would keep you from moving on. So he told me, and I think you should hear it."

Sakura took in a shaky breath.

"Alright," She said. "Tell me."


	20. Chapter 20

Four Months Ago

Kakashi was almost out of chakra. His breathing was ragged and every muscle in his body hurt. His head ached from using the Sharingan so much and he knew that he didn't have much time.

He swore as he used his sharingan to neutralize another attack from the enemy, knowing that it was too late to dodge the second attack from behind. He took a pounding in his back and flew head first into a drainage pipe, denting the pipe. The force of the blow flipped him before he hit the ground. He felt a rib crack, maybe even break.

Tenzou came running up a wood bridge toward him and the two leapt back. As soon as he made the leap Kakashi knew he wouldn't be able to move again, at least not with any speed. They'd fought their way from the open field, where they'd nearly defeated the female Akatsuki (until the others had shown up) to this empty industrial center. Kakashi had a bad feeling that they'd been herded there on purpose.

"How can there be six of them?" Tenzou gasped, helping Kakashi to stand.

"They must be connected," Kakashi grunted, holding his side. "They can see from each other's eyes."

The battered ninja huddled against the concrete wall. For the moment, the six ninja with the strange eyes did not attack, but gathered like vultures waiting for them to die.

"Their piercings too," Tenzou muttered. "They are being controlled."

"Yeah," Kakashi said, sizing the situation up. Tenzou was exhausted from using his jutsu endlessly, he himself had just wiped blood out of his sharingan. He eyed the six Akatsuki. One of them, one with bright orange spiky hair, spoke.

"You cannot win," he said in a deep voice. Kakashi grimaced, knowing it was true. Tenzou, perhaps a little overconfident in Kakashi's abilities, bristled with offense. Kakashi held him back from speaking with a hand on his arm. "Pain will be merciful and kill you quickly."

"Just like that?" Kakashi asked, knowing that the longer they spent talking the more his chakra could replenish itself.

"Peace requires sacrifice. If you survive, you will continue to fight. Let us have peace."

Kakashi held up a hand. He didn't need to pretend to make his voice gruff or his body language defeated.

"Fine," He said heavily. "Give us one moment."

Miraculously, Pain held back, ostensibly to allow Kakashi and Tenzou to make peace with their maker. The copy ninja turned to his best friend.

"Can you run?" He said in a low voice. Tenzou gulped, and nodded. Kakashi sighed in relief. "Good," he said. "I can't. So when I say, you are going to run like hell and get out of here."

Tenzou was appalled.

"No!" He hissed. "A ninja never leaves his teammate. Why the hell would you ask me that?"

"Because the queen needs to know about these guys," Kakashi said. "And I'm telling you, I can't move. I'll make a diversion and you get away."

"I'm not doing it." Tenzou said. Kakashi eyed the Pains, hovering across the chamber.

"You fucking are doing it," He said savagely to Tenzou. "We don't have time to argue. You're my friend, do this for me." He took his headband off and handed it to the stunned ninja. "Give this to Sakura and tell her…" He sucked in a breath. It was getting hard to breathe. "Are you listening?" he snapped. Tenzou stood up straighter, face white, dark eyes wide. "Tell Sakura that I love her. Tell her that I loved her more than anything. Tenzou, Jesus don't cry!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Tell her not to marry some idiot no matter what anyone says. Tell her that she is strong, and beautiful, and perfect and that if I were there I would never leave her side again."

"Oh, God…"

"Don't forget this Tenzou. Tell her I meant to come back and be with her. Tell her I'm sorry for breaking my promise. Tell her that loving her was the only thing about me that was worth anything. Tell her she is stronger than she knows, and that I'll always be with her."

"Okay," Tenzou was openly weeping now.

"And for God's sake, Tenzou," Kakashi said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Tell her you saw me die. Tell her you saw my body. Don't leave her in any doubt. Tell her you watched it happen and make sure she doesn't ever try to come here and find me."

"You saying you'll survive?"

"No," Kakashi said flatly. "But you'll be long gone before they get me. So give her that one lie. I know Sakura. If she thinks she can find me she'll put her own life at risk."

"Kakashi, I don't want to do this." Tenzou said. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask and pulled a packet of soldier pills from his pocket. He gave Tenzou one and popped two himself. He chewed and swallowed, grimacing at the bitterness.

"I don't either, my friend." He said, turning towards the enemy. He already felt the soldier pill doing its work, numbing his pain, temporarily restoring his strength. "Trust me. I want to go home. But I wouldn't make it two miles before I collapsed. Let me give you a chance. Oh, and…" He brought out his summoning scroll and bit his thumb to summon Pakkun. The pug burst into life at his feet.

"Boss," Pakkun said.

"Pakkun, go to Sakura," Kakashi said, knowing better than to entrust the dog with a more complicated message. "Make a new contract with her and keep her safe." And without waiting for a reply, he tore his contact. Pakkun yelped and disappeared. Kakashi shrugged at Tenzou. "The dogs always did like Sakura a little better anyway," he said thickly.

Tenzou gripped Kakashi's shoulder, overwhelmed with emotion.

"Goodbye friend," He said. Kakashi nodded, Tenzou leapt backwards, and the copy ninja charged into the Pains, who were all helpfully standing in a group. For long enough, it was chaos, with lightning chakra suffusing the air with electricity. Tenzou heard the sounds of the battle as he used all of his remaining strength to create a wooden tunnel at his feet. He leapt down, sending wood ahead of him to create the tunnel and simultaneously destroying the tunnel behind him. He ran underneath the ground for hours before exhaustion dropped him and he slept.

It took two more days and another soldier pill to get far enough away to burrow back above ground. It took many more days to walk back home. None of that time could prepare him for the duty of breaking Sakura's heart.

 **Sakura gripped Tsunade's** hand so tightly that she knew she might be breaking it. Luckily the older woman was tough, and didn't even flinch. The words Kakashi meant for her to hear months ago weighed heavily in her mind, in her heart. She felt heavy, so heavy, and all she wanted to do was curl up and sleep and pretend, for a while, that he would be there again when she woke and everything would be safe and normal again.

Sakura gasped as the tears began to flow. Tsunade reached for her to bring her into a closer embrace, but Sakura stiffened, not sure if she could even handle the compassion.

He had loved her. She might have known it, but here it was confirmed. He hadn't just thought of her in passing as he died. She had been foremost in his mind. She knew it now; they had loved each other. Every subtle caress, every lingering took. The devotion, the way he'd told her he adored her when he was sick that one time, the way he leaned in to her when she healed him. The way he used to read with her in her room after lessons, propping his feet up on her bed as he sat in his favorite chair. The way he'd squeezed her hand before he left. The last thing he'd said to her.

 _Don't get married._

Sakura wiped her face and looked up at Tsunade, who was staring at her with furrowed brows. She knew the medical ninja was expecting her next question.

"So...according to Tenzou," Sakura said slowly. "He didn't actually see him die. He was just supposed to tell me that."

"Sakura, I know what you're thinking." Tsunade said. "Tenzou told me the story first and I promise, if I thought Kakashi could have survived it I would tell you. There's no way he did."

"He could have," Sakura insisted. "You don't know. If his body never turned up then we don't know."

"Sakura this is what he was afraid of!" Tsunade said tightly. "He didn't want you trying to find him."

"I can't get married," Sakura said suddenly. Her eyes were wide. "I can't get married! He didn't want me to get married. I have to find him! I have the dogs, they can help…"

"Sakura, don't! You won't get out of this palace. No one is going to let you look."

"Tsunade…" Sakura stood up and paced the room, running a hand through her hair and ruining the styling. "I can't just leave him there. Even if he is dead...I need to know. I need to find him."

"Sakura, you have responsibilities here. I know how much this hurts, you _know_ I know. But Kakashi didn't want you throwing your life away!"

"He loved me…"

"Yes he did."

"I loved him back."

"I know."

"How can I just move on?" Sakura choked, more tears streaming down her face. "How can everyone expect me to just get over this? It's like I'm walking around with a _gaping wound_ and it won't heal and it hurts. It fucking hurts and I don't WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY ANYMORE! I want him to come home. He promised me he would come home. He broke his promise! And now I'm in pain, I'm in pain and I can't get better and I WANT IT TO STOP!"

Sakura punctuated the last few words with her naked fist to the alabaster walls of her room. Tsunade stood warningly, glancing at the way the walls and ceiling cracked and splintered. Sakura didn't seem to notice. Blood flowed from her knuckles, stained her wedding kimono. She was breathing heavily, and for a moment, she looked relieved. Tsunade felt nervous.

"Sakura….don't…"

But the princess didn't listen. She pulled her fist back and pounded it into the wall. The room shook. Dust dropped from crack in the ceiling. "Sakura," Tsunade said, louder. "Don't, you'll bring the building down.."

"What do I FUCKING CARE?" Sakura said, and she picked up her dresser, which was made of marble, and hefted it across the room as if it were nothing. Tsunade was worried but a smaller part of her was impressed. Sakura had never used this much of her strength at once.

Tsunade felt relief only that the princess had stopped trying to bring the building down and settled for completely trashing her room. She dismantled the bed into splinters and even cracked the porcelain bathtub into dust. Servants and security ninja burst in but Tsunade held them back. Midara rushed to the door.

"What is happening?" She said. "What did you tell her?"

"Don't worry," Tsunade said uneasily. "I think this is healthy."

It only took Sakura about fifteen minutes to reduce her room to rubble (and to seriously undermine the structural integrity of the whole wing). But as soon as she was done she pulled her loose hair back into a bub, dusted off her now filthy kimono, and swept past her mother into the hall.

"Where is she going?" Midara asked, wild-eyed. Tsunade responded uneasily.

"I think….to get married."


	21. Chapter 21

Wedding

Tenzou stood at the back of the ceremony hall while the wedding took place, riddled with guilt. He'd waited so long to tell Sakura about Kakashi's last words that he felt like this wedding was all his fault. The princess was stony-faced and strangely disheveled for a bride. He knew, like most everyone in the hall, that she had just thrown some kind of monstrous fit and nearly taken the building down. Ninja had almost evacuated the hall.

But here she was, calm and ice-cold, going through the ceremony as though nothing had happened. If Sasori had any complaints about her sudden appearance he kept them to himself. His grandmother, Lady Chiyo, stood to one side while Midara stood to the other, having rushed in just after her daughter.

"I told her," A voice said near Tenzou's elbow. He turned to see Tsunade leaned on the wall next to him.

"I figured," He said. "Did you tell her all of it?"

"Yeah. You were right. The first thing she wanted to do was leave to go look for him."

Tenzou sighed, rubbing his temple up under his mask.

"He was afraid of that. Still think she'll go?" He asked.

"She couldn't if she wanted to," Tsunade shrugged. "She's going to be watched. There's no way they'll let her just leave."

"Were they….together?" Tenzou asked, hating himself as he watched Sakura's impassive face at the front of the room.

"No, I don't think so." Tsunade said. "Why, did Kakashi tell you they were?"

"No, he said he hadn't done anything. But I wondered." Tenzou said. "I'm surprised she's up there now."

"Me too," Tsunade said. "But what choice did she have? There's the Akatsuki to think about."

"That Pain…" Tenzou ventured cautiously. "He could destroy this kingdom. The queen knows that, right?"

"She heard your report when you first arrived. She knows." Tsunade said. "Otherwise Sakura wouldn't be up there. Midara might be ruthless but I don't think she really wanted Sakura to have to do this."

"I'm leaving," Tenzou said. "I can't stay here any longer."

"You won't stay for the reception?" Tsunade teased lightly. "I'm sure there are lots of nice girls around."

Tenzou's mouth twitched but he stayed serious.

"Kakashi was my best friend," he told Tsunade. "He cared about Sakura more than anything else. Please, keep her safe."

"Where are you going to go?" Tsunade asked.

"I'm going back to the border," Tenzou said, looking into the distance. "I've got preparations to make for this war that's coming."

 **Sakura had been** calm through the whole ceremony. Once she'd trashed her room she had felt empty, and she carried that emptiness right up to the altar, knowing she had no choice. She'd married Sasori of the Wind Kingdom in front of nearly everyone she knew, in a blood-stained kimono, with her hair in disarray. Luckily no one asked her about it.

Sasori had kissed her lightly on the cheek during the ceremony, for which she was grateful. He'd offered her his arm during the reception and she'd leaned on him slightly as she had to greet dignitaries, diplomats, and citizens all lined up to congratulate her on her alliance. Sasori remained attentive but quiet, just the way she liked. She'd gotten through the reception just fine but now night had fallen and she and Sasori were standing in the guest chambers that had been quickly cleaned out and decorated for their use in the hours since she'd destroyed her own room.

Sasori had skillfully pulled her away from the reception by announcing that she looked a little pale and escorting her out with a hand on the small of her back. There were a few unhelpful snickers but Sakura did her best to ignore them. She _was_ tired. Maybe she could convince him to let her sleep before trying anything.

But the words stuck in her throat once she was the bed turned down and felt the heat of the fire built in the fireplace. Sasori let her go as soon as they were inside the room and went to the other side of the chamber to remove his boots. He kept his cloak and gloves on.

Sakura wavered as she heard the door click behind her. Suddenly her heart was pounding like mad and the whole thing seemed crazy. She didn't want to be married to this guy! She barely knew him. Now she had to...he would expect things and she didn't want to do any of it! She wanted her mother. Suddenly she felt like a little girl again.

"Don't be nervous," Sasori said from his spot across the room. "Are you scared?"

"Uh, yeah. A little," Sakura said. "I've never...well I mean you know I've never….I'm not sure if…."

"It's okay Sakura," Sasori said smoothly. "I'm not interested in consummating the marriage tonight either. Why don't we just get some rest?"

Relief flooded through every cell in Sakura's body. She relaxed muscles she hadn't realized were tense.

"Okay," She said. "I'll just...take a bath?"

"Of course," Sasori said, sitting on top of the covers of the bed. He gestured to the bathroom. "Go right ahead."

Sakura didn't question her luck. She gathered up a few items that had been placed there for her use (the night dress was entirely see through but she would worry about that later) and retreated to the bathroom, where she drew the hottest bath she could stand.

After her bath, she peeked out of the bathroom. Sasori was asleep on one side of the bed, under the covers. Another relief, because Sakura did not want him to see her in the lingerie that had been left for her. She crept across the room and slid into the bed next to him, careful not to touch.

She lay awake for many hours, paranoid that he would roll over and try to cuddle her or start something. But he stayed still; it was almost like he was barely breathing. It took hours for Sakura to relax enough to fall asleep, and when she did, she dreamed of Kakashi.

 **Once Sakura was** asleep, which took longer than it should have, Sasori sat up and removed a tiny bird from the folds of his robes. It was only a puppet, made of wood and controlled by chakra, but it was beautiful in its delicacy. He whispered a destination into its tiny ear and instructed it to deliver his message to the leader.

 _It's done. I have her._

 **The little bird** flew on chakra-controlled wings off to the Rain Village, where it delivered its message to a man whose satisfied smile was hidden behind an orange mask.


	22. Chapter 22

**Plans**

Kakashi hadn't broken, not yet. But he knew he was close. The man in the mask visited him daily and absurdly explained much of his plan for the invasion of Konoha. Kakashi never spoke back to him, and usually kept his eyes shut to avoid any genjutsu, but he couldn't close his ears to the low, sometimes soothing voice.

Ever since the ninja who interrogated Kakashi discovered his close connection to Sakura, everyone in the compound had been celebrating. They'd used that connection to hack all of Kakashi's brain, and they spent days unraveling the intel they got from him.

Kakashi knew he was a strong ninja. He had been a child prodigy, pushed into the life by his father at a young age. He'd been in impossible positions before, and had always managed to survive. He'd lost his father, his teacher, his best friends, and still he continued to live. It's not like he congratulated himself daily on his own ninja prowess, but you don't reach the level that he had reached unaware of your own power and abilities, ignorant of your own mental strength. He'd held off the assault on his mind for days, long enough that the effort to extract intel from him had nearly killed the only ninja capable of using the mind control jutsu. Kakashi had never had reason to be _proud_ of his own accomplishments. Until he had met Sakura, his life had been one of cold, stark necessity. He had a responsibility to protect his kingdom; there weren't many others who were as adept at it as he was. But once he'd begun teaching Sakura, his life had changed. He could be proud of her. He fell in love with her. Somehow, he had shifted from using his skills to protect Konoha to using his skills to protect her. She was in his mind every minute of every day.

Maybe that's why he lost it the day the masked man told him that the princess of Konoha had married an undercover member of the Akatsuki.

 **Sakura didn't hate** married life. True, she wasn't alone as much as she wanted to be, as Sasori usually insisted on coming with her when she wandered the gardens, or sitting with her in the library when she wanted to read. However, he had a quiet presence and a way of letting her be that made being with him bearable. Occasionally they spoke about this and that, and Sasori made attempts to compliment her hair or to ask what she would like for dinner that night so he could ask the cook to make it. Overall, he was an attentive but not overwhelming presence. At night he stayed on his side of the bed and made no effort to start anything romantic. They'd never even kissed on the lips. Although this puzzled Sakura, she was too relieved to want to question it.

Pakkun and the other dogs were deeply disappointed to be more or less replaced by Sasori. Pakkun especially despised Sasori and insisted that he didn't smell right. Sakura had no idea what the pug was smelling, but she felt it was safer to ban the dogs from her private room with Sasori. Her new husband was treating her with such kindness and she didn't want him to be insulted by a pack of dogs. She did still spend a lot of time with the dogs, who appeared whenever she left her rooms, but she no longer spent nights with them.

Sakura and Sasori never moved over to Sakura's room even after it had been repaired. They stayed in the guest chamber. Sakura missed her old space but figured it would be best to just start new where she was.

As weeks turned into months, Sakura slowly resumed her duties as princess. Her grief over Kakashi had settled like a stone in her heart, but it no longer prevented her from talking, smiling, and going about her business. She resumed lessons with Tsunade and even spent time with Sasori's grandmother, Lady Chiyo. She attended meetings with her mother and took on more of Midara's responsibilities as the queen was busy with her ninja council preparing to invade the Rain Village. As a part of those new responsibilities, Sakura oversaw the construction and staffing of a new hospital within the city gates. She wasn't happy, but she was busy, and in her mind that was probably as close to happy as she'd ever get again.

She wanted to protect that feeling of vague contentment, which is why she refused to listen to her mother the first three or four times she brought up the subject of children. The queen was understandably nervous, with the Akatsuki attacking the surrounding villages intermittently. The attacks, which began the official war, were a drain on the kingdom. Suna was not sending troops as quickly as Midara had hoped and Konoha's forces were stretched thin by skirmishes many miles away from the palace. That means fewer guards at home, and Midara was uneasy about the change. She wanted more insurance that her line would be secure should she have to personally lead the troops, which was something she was trying to avoid. Apparently that meant Sakura getting pregnant.

Sakura had known in the back of her mind that at some point her arrangement with Sasori would draw questions. She couldn't really feign infertility, after all, and how else could they explain an inability to conceive? She had just thought she could delay it for longer. She hadn't realized how quickly people assumed she'd become a mother herself.

Sakura did _not_ want a child. She'd fantasized about having children of her own, of course, but she felt that she was just barely keeping her own self together. She did not want to have to look after another person, and she was not at all certain that Sasori did either. He did not approach her or even undress in her presence. He clearly was not interested in a sexual relationship and she could only thank her lucky stars that she did not have to oblidge him in any way. She wasn't scared of sex, exactly. She'd looked forward to the prospect in her own way, as most teenagers do, but she held no romantic feelings for her husband and she was only too happy to go about their life without crossing that particular hurdle with him.

But as she sat in the breakfast room with her mother, she recognized that she wouldn't get away with a celibate marriage for long.

"Why don't we have my doctor take a look at you?" Midara said over a bowl of porridge. Sakura stared at her fruit salad, exceedingly glad she'd let Sasori sleep in this morning.

"Mother, there's nothing wrong with me," She hedged. "I'm a medic. I would know."

"Tsunade," Midara continued. "She could...do something, right?"

"There's nothing to do!" Sakura insisted around a mouthful of mango. "I'm perfectly fine. Lots of couples don't conceive right away."

"It's been _seven_ months, Sakura." Midara said. She waved a servant over to pour her some more coffee. There were dark circles under her eyes. "It's vitally important that we shore up our lineage. We need to send a message to the surrounding nations."

"I'm not in control of what my uterus does, _mother_." Sakura said through gritted teeth.

"Is it him?" Midara said suddenly. Sakura blushed crimson.

"What?" She said, flustered. "No, no it's nothing."

"Can't he…..you know?" Midara made a thrusting gesture with her index finger. Sakura wanted to sink beneath the table and die.

"Of course he can!" She said, mustering up some indignation. "He's….competent."

"Competent!" Midara snorted. "You sound like you don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course I do."

"Sakura." Midara's voice was sharp. Sakura chanced a glance at her face. Her eyes were narrowed. Sakura knew that look.

"What? Nothing…" Sakura said.

"You have had sex haven't you?"

"Of course we have!" We do it all the time!" Sakura sputtered! Midara shook her head.

"You have not."

"Why can't you…."

"Should I ask him?"

"GOD no!" Sakura said. "We haven't yet. He doesn't seem…..interested."

Midara groaned and put her head in her hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said, her voice muffled.

"It was personal!"

"Oh god...he's like in love with a cat or something, isn't he?"

Sakura frowned at this absurd remark.

"I don't think he is…" She said thoughtfully. "But it is weird. He never takes off his cloak or his gloves."

Midara sat up and looked at Sakura. She was thinking hard.

"Sakura, I don't know how to tell you this," She said. "But you need to seduce your husband."

Sakura took a shuddering breath and leaned back in her chair.

"I really don't want to. Can't it just stay like this?"

"No," Midara said without hesitation. "It can't. If you don't consummate the marriage then it's too easy for someone to claim you aren't really married, and our treaty will have been for nothing."

It was Sakura's turn to groan and drop her head into her hands. Absurdly, she felt like crying. She hadn't cried in months.

"I don't know... _how_ ," She said miserably. "He never seems interested in that at all."

"He's not that bad looking," Midara said thoughtfully.

"Well then, _you_ do it!" Sakura spat. Midara shook her head with a wry smile.

"No sweetheart, I'm afraid that's not how it works. Also I would probably break him."

"Oh, _ew_ " Sakura moaned. "You don't have to….I don't want to _know_ …"

"Listen you need to do something sweet girl," Midara said. "I'll have some wine sent to your room after dinner tonight. Drink it. If I remember, it helps a little bit if you're drunk the first time…"

Sakura eyed her mother skeptically. "That sounds like terrible advice."

"It probably is," Midara conceded. "But drink a glass anyway, and take a bath to relax, and then just stay naked. When he comes in he should be in no doubt of what you're after."

Sakura buried her head in her arms and groaned miserably. Midara patted her on the back, suddenly gentle.

"Sakura?" She said softly. "I'm sorry. But you could...you could turn out the lights and...pretend."

Sakura's head snapped up.

"Pretend?" She said dangerously.

"Sometimes it can be nice," Midara said earnestly. "When the person you love isn't there…you could think about Kakashi..." She shrugged.

"You want me to pretend he's Kakashi?" Sakura said, her voice low and horrified. Midara had the grace not to respond. She looked down at her hands, twisting them tightly in front of her.

Sakura wiped a tear away with a shaking hand.

"I'll do it tonight," She said. "But you will never say his name to me again."

Midara rubbed her face, smearing last night's mascara, and nodded. Sakura left the room, trying not to think about what she'd just agreed to do.


	23. Chapter 23

Out

Worry for Sakura had consumed Kakashi to such an extent that he felt constantly like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump. Since the masked man had told him that Sakura had married an Akatsuki operative, Kakashi had redoubled his efforts to summon a raikiri with enough chakra to break the chains that held him to the wall of his dank prison.

He had to get to her. Everything else, even survival, was secondary to getting to Sakura. He forced his sluggish, battered mind to work, he summoned chakra he didn't know he still had, and during the guard change he managed to crack a cuff enough to slip his hand out of the restraint and cut the other one.

Kakashi stood, swaying and wheezing from the effort. His guard, some faceless guy in a black cloak, had meandered off early, although the next guard should be coming soon. Kakashi snorted. He must have been pretty pathetic over the last few months if they were comfortable leaving the copy ninja unguarded for even a few moments.

 _I'm not the copy ninja anymore,_ Kakashi suddenly thought, rubbing his ruined eye. He shrugged to himself. It could be worse. He wasn't completely out of chakra, and although he could use a medic nin to look at his arms, he would just have to compensate the damage with a little chakra control. He planned to have his _favorite_ medic help him out, once he murdered her husband.

Kakashi didn't bother waiting for the guard to return to kill him. He managed to kick a bar to such an angle that he could slip through, and he marched himself up the wall and onto the ceiling to explore the hideout without being immediately seen.

The prison was insultingly small. He supposed it wasn't a major Akatsuki outpost, but rather a space built just for capturing him. There were no other cells, and the place appeared to be built underground in such a way that it could cave in on itself. _How convenient._

An encounter with the guard who had used the mind control jutsu to extract information from him went well for Kakashi in spite of his lethargy and lack of the sharingan. He simply dropped on top of the man and in the ensuing scuffle, managed to snap his neck. Kakashi spared the man no thought; he never relished killing, having had cause to do too much of it in his life. But this person had invaded his mind brutally and passed precious information to the enemy. He was lucky it served Kakashi to kill him quickly.

He was also nearly the same size as Kakashi, so the ninja spent a scant minute or too dressing in the ninja gear and stashing weapons about his person before returning to the ceiling.

The next guard took a little bit longer to kill, because Kakashi took to time to interrogate him first. He ascertained that the man in the mask was not at the small prison, which probably led to the lax security. He went by the name _Madara,_ which was ridiculous, and he had operatives all over the neighboring kingdoms. He was bent on invading Konoha in an effort to get the nine tails. Apparently he was collecting tailed beasts.

Kakashi silenced the man and continued to look for the exit. His paltry strength was waning, and he knew he needed to get somewhere to rest quickly so he could replenish his chakra. He needed food too.

Astonishingly, there were only two guards in the underground lair. Kakashi found the exit-a trap door which led to the surface, and pulled the lever at the top which collapsed the earthen walls in on themselves, burying all evidence that there ever had been a hideout there.

Kakashi sat back on his haunches for a moment and looked around. He was in the forest outside the Rain village, it looked like. There was no external security, no guards waiting for him at the surface, no genjutsu traps (as far as he could tell). It was entirely too simple, and uneasiness settled in Kakashi's gut. He knew enough to tell that Madara was no fool. If Kakashi had managed to escape after being ground down and worn out in prison for months, it was because Madara had allowed it to happen.

Kakashi tried to stand and fell over again. Perhaps this is what Madara had intended-for Kakashi to exert himself in an effort to get outside, only to die of exposure in the woods because he had no more strength left to reach safety.

He had to reach Sakura. Dying in the woods was not an option, regardless of what Madara had planned.

 **Sakura put on** her best nightie, the one that was entirely see-through, once she got out of her bath. She was so nervous that her fingers shook as she slipped the straps up onto her shoulders. She dried her hair and reapplied makeup. She used her favorite vanilla scented lotion and stood shakily in her bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. Her mother had sent a reluctant Tsunade to her that afternoon to have the most awkward anatomical conversation of the century, so she now knew a few things about what would happen tonight. More than she had known, anyway (or really wanted to know). She spent a few moments breathing deeply, looking into her reflection. She was pale, but she did look slightly better than she had months ago. Her grief and stress still showed on her face to some extent, making her look a little drawn. She flexed her eyebrows, trying to work them out of the constant frown she wore. She looked into her own green eyes and considered them. Before she'd lost Kakashi, she'd always liked her eyes. They were bright, and she liked the way Kakashi looked into them. But now they were wide, and deep, and sad.

Sakura made a face at herself and turned away from the mirror. Cautiously, she opened the door and peered into her room. Sasori was lying on to of the covers, cloak and gloves still on, reading a book he'd plucked from the shelf. As usual, he studiously ignored her as she slipped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He always averted his eyes when she emerged, as though she would lose her head one day and just charge out naked.

She leaned her back against the bathroom door, grateful that the lights were still on, and waited for him to look up. Surely dressing in a ridiculous piece of lingerie through which both her nipples and her nether regions were on full display would be signal enough of what she wanted, and she wouldn't have to "seduce" him any more than that.

He didn't look up. She cleared her throat.

Nothing.

She sighed. "Sasori,"

"Hmmm?" He said, turned a page of his book with a gloved finger.

"Um, look at me." Sakura said, unsure of how else to draw his attention.

His eyes flicked up from the book and settled on her. He didn't exactly make an expression, but Sakura could see a _very_ slight blush spreading across his cheeks.

"You look lovely," He said, his voice carefully neutral. "Is that new?"

"Uh, not really," Sakura said. "It's from the wedding night…"

"Ah," Sasori said, returning to his book. "It's very...thin."

Sakura snorted a little bit, feeling slightly relieved. She fingered the hem of the gauzy garment.

"It's ridiculous, really," She said, "I mean, it's basically just medical gauze. If you get wounded I could take care of you right now." She grimaced before she was even done with the comment. She sounded like such a dork.

"I'll be sure not to get wounded," Sasori said softly. "I wouldn't want to ruin it."

Sakura was unsure of what to say next. She had rather hoped that he would take the next step forward, since she was obviously putting herself on display for him. But he remained, fully dressed, on the bed. She tiptoed over to her side of the bed and sat down on it, looking down at him.

"Why don't you put the book away?" She said nervously.

"Would you like me to?" He mumbled.

"Yes," Sakura said, a tiny bit acerbic.

"Alright then," Sasori closed the book and set it on the bedside table. He folded his gloved hands primly over his chest.

A few moments of silence ticked by. Sakura's heart was hammering, and she was getting increasingly frustrated at Sasori's obtuse response to what she felt like was an obvious non-verbal request. But she had to do _something_ , right? He seemed like he was waiting on her to do something.

She leaned in towards her husband and left him a lingering kiss on the cheek. When he didn't quite leap away from her, she trailed kisses from his cheek to his lips and pressed a soft kiss there.

He didn't respond right away, but he didn't exactly toss her off, so Sakura just kept at it, pressing small kisses to his closed lips until, finally, she felt him kiss her in return.

Sakura closed her eyes and kissed him in earnest. His breathing grew deeper as he, apparently, got more and more into it. Sakura tried to work a hand under his cloak but he grabbed her hand and brought it around him so she was holding his neck. She went ahead and straddled him, just to straighten herself out.

She teased his mouth open, a little unsure of the logistics of this, and deepened their kisses. Sasori was clearly, finally, interested. She could tell by his heavy breathing and the mortifying presence of what she believed might be his erection nudging her thigh. Mechanically, she went about her task, hoping that soon it would be over and her heart would stop breaking.

When she peeled his gloves off, Sasori murmured something and twitched, but didn't protest further. He gripped her waist and his hands felt cool through the gauzy fabric. When she slipped her hands under his black cloak, he pulled away, sounding desperate.

"Sakura-" He began, suddenly sounding as nervous as she was.

"Shh-" Sakura said, kissing along the line of his jaw. "Don't you want this?" She rolled her hips experimentally against him, and he groaned outright.

"Of course I do," He ground out, "But you don't understand…god…"

"Just make love to me," Sakura said, hoping he didn't hear the catch in her voice. A part of her felt dead inside, but she forced it down and tried to remember that she didn't really hate Sasori. He was always gentle with her, and respectful of her distance, and he never rushed her into anything.

She considered him in the warm lamplight. He was still lying on his back on the bed, holding her waist still as though he couldn't bear to let her move anymore. His face was flushed and his red hair was disheveled. He stared at her, panting slightly. He really was handsome, in a slightly feminine way. He had none of Kakashi's rough edges and masculine charm, but he was elegant and attractive. Maybe for now, that would be enough?

Knowing she wasn't exactly playing fair, Sakura raised a hand and slipped the strap of her negligee off of her shoulder. Sasori's eyes narrowed and he twitched slightly.

"When you married me," She said softly, "You knew this was a given. Don't you want to?"

"When I married you," Sasori said, his voice husky, "You were in love with someone else. Are you sure _you_ want to?"

It was Sakura's turn to narrow her eyes at him, suddenly hating him for his perceptive answer. This would be so much _easier_ if he would just _do it_. Now to reach her goal she had to convince him she fucking _cared_?

 _Am I some kind of predator now?_ She wondered. She sighed.

"I want to," She lied.

"You don't," Sasori countered.

"I came out here like this, didn't I?" Sakura said, fingering her outfit. Sasori's lips quirked in a smile. "And I can tell you want to," She wriggled a little bit, and Sasori's smile turned into a slight grimace.

"Yes, that's rather difficult for me to hide," He agreed. "But I don't want you to have to do something you don't want to."

Sakura sat back and gazed over Sasori's head in thought.

"You've always been kind to me," She conceding, figuring she would give the truth a try. "And I do care about you."

"I care about you too, Sakura." Sasori said softly. "But what's the rush?"

"My mother...she wants us to get pregnant." Sakura admitted. "She's nervous about her claim here. She wants me to have an heir."

"Ah," Sasori said.

"I told her I would try." Sakura said. "And I mean to keep my word."

"I can see that," Sasori said wryly.

"Listen, I know this isn't what you planned," Sakura said. "And I can't tell you how grateful I am that you've let me wait this long. But I think it's time. Maybe…" And she hated herself for saying it. "Maybe it would help me to move on."

"Do you really believe that?" Sasori said.

"I don't know. But...I've made up my mind." Sakura said firmly. "I want to try. Will you…?" Her voice trailed off. Sasori gazed at her.

"Sakura, I don't know-" He said, looking worried. "Maybe there are other ways…"

Sakura shook her head, and slowly slipped her other strap over her shoulder. Sasori's eyes followed the movement. She leaned down and kissed him again, lingering as long as she dared. When their lips parted for breath, Sasori merely murmured, "Okay."

"But let's go slowly," Sakura warned him.

"Why don't we turn the light out?" He suggested. Sakura nodded., and he reached back behind him and flipped off the lamp.

In the dark, kissing and caressing was easier. Sakura did her best to respond to his touches, although she ricocheted between guilt, heartache, and moments of pleasure which only intensified her guilt and heartache. Sasori kept his hands away from her skin, apparently fond of the soft feel of her lingerie. Occasionally he swept a hand through her hair. After a few moments, he rolled her over gently, asking her if it was okay. When he started kissing her neck, Sakura stared at the dark ceiling and tried not to shrink away from him. He whispered her name over and over again, becoming more involved in his attentions. When she felt like she could bear it no longer, Sakura unhooked his cloak and drew it off of his body, dropping it to the floor beside the bed. She fumbled with the ties of the white shirt he wore underneath, just wanting it to be over.

Sasori was grinding himself against her core. He wasn't quite in a good spot, so it didn't really feel good to Sakura. Apparently it felt good to him though because he seemed to have lost all of his diffidence, moaning and panting into the side of her neck. He was so involved he didn't notice Sakura slip her fingers into his belt and unhook it. He didn't immediately flinch away when her fingers swept underneath his shirt to stroke his naked torso.

Sakura realized later what a huge risk it was for him to allow her to seduce him, but he must have thought it was worth it because he took the risk anyway. But it did not work out for him, because as soon as Sakura's sensitive fingers found purchase on his body, she realized that Sasori was not who he said he was.

He wasn't even human.


	24. Chapter 24

Fight

Sakura had sense enough not to immediately scream, but it was a close thing. She moderated her breathing as her ninja training kicked in, her mind sensing danger. She had about three seconds to realize, with her hand underneath Sasori's shirt, that he was not made of flesh and blood. It took her about one second to ascertain that it was not some kind of armor, but his true body. It took Sasori five seconds to realize what she knew.

"Ah," He said, slowing down and peering into her stricken face. He looked unaccountably sad. "Ah, Sakura. I wish you had not done that. This was not a good idea."

Sakura did not like the tone he used, but she willed herself to stay calm. Every cell in her body was dancing, though, ready for a fight.

"What...are you?" She asked, haltingly, trying to sound shy but not afraid. Perhaps she could mollify him long enough to get out?

Sasori leaned back, still straddling her, and pulled the front of his shirt closed. Sakura caught a glimpse of a metal plate over where his heart should be. She didn't let her eyes linger.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," Sasori sighed. "I confess I lost myself for a moment."

"That's okay," Sakura said shakily. "Do you want to wait a little longer?"

"No, I think we've waited long _enough_ ," Sasori said, and smacked her hard across the face.

Sakura didn't dodge the slap and ignored the sharp sting that told he he'd cut her somehow. Instead, she used the moment to slip a hand under the pillow behind her and retrieve her enameled kunai from its customary hiding spot. She snapped her arm around in front of her quick enough to block the second blow, this time from some kind of sword. The blade sparked as it ground against her weapon, and Sakura's eyes took in the horrifying sight of Sasori's arm, which had snapped open to produce the blade.

"You're a puppet?" Sakura gasped. Sasori only grunted as he pulled back. Sakura kneed him viciously in the groin, where he was obviously still at least partially human, and rolled out from under him. Sasori was clearly in pain but didn't waste time moaning and groaning. He slipped off of the bed to face her. She narrowed her eyes at him, holding tight to her kunai. Blood dripped from her cheek.

"Take your shirt off," She said, "What the hell is under that?" Sasori only smiled.

"Ah, Sakura. I thought you were no longer interested in love making," He said softly.

"What are you after?" Sakura said, crouching in readiness, sure he would attack soon.

"I'm not after anything," Sasori said. "I'm just here to keep an eye on you. Don't attack...I don't want to hurt you…"

"Who hired you? Is this the Sand Village?" Sakura spat, backing up towards the door.

"Don't go-" Sasori said pleadingly, punctuating his request with a barrage of blades which came out of his arms and embedded themselves in the door behind Sakura.

"Are you going to try to kill me?" Sakura said, her eyes roving over his body, trying to find a weak spot.

"No!" Sasori said. "I'm trying to keep you talking until the poison I dosed you with kicks in."

Sakura felt no fear. She was a medical ninja. She'd been trained to counteract dozens of poisons. But she quickly did an internal scan of her chakra and discovered that she had far less available to her to fight. Too much was devoted to stopping the poison's progress in her blood. If she got a shot, she would have to make it count. There wouldn't be another one.

Fortunately, Sasori was a long range fighter. Sakura had the advantage as long as she pretended to be slowed by the poison. She gave a theatrical moan and staggered.

"Sasori," She said, trying sound pleading. She sensed his hesitation. She dropped to her knees.

"It hurts," She grunted, holding her middle. "Please…."

Sasori stepped forward then, reaching out to cradle her gently. She looked up at him, shocked at his sad expression.

"Don't worry," He said softly. "It'll pass, and you won't remember any of this."

"Why did you do this?" Sakura choked, stalling for time.

Sasori stroked a wooden hand through her hair, his eyes warm. Gently, he kissed her forehead.

"I'm working for the ultimate peace," He said. "And we must fight a war to attain it. I'm sorry, Sakura. You deserve better than this. I promise I'll protect you. I'll tell my leader you are essential to our cause. Yes...that might work…ah, there they are…"

Sasori's attention was drawn to the window, and Sakura looked too. Flashes of light streaked across the sky, then the palace rumbled ominously. Shouts were heard down the corridor, throughout the city. "I was wondering when they would get here," Sasori continued. "Not to worry Sakura, I'll keep you safe. I won't let him have you."

Sakura felt the betrayal like a hot iron to the gut. She allowed her eyes to fill with tears.

"I'm scared," She said meekly. Sasori settled down for comfortably on the floor and arranged her across his lap. Her fingers clung to the front of his shirt. She twitched every time she heard the sound of an explosion. Her heart felt like it would explode. Her kingdom was under attack. The Akatsuki had infiltrated. She need to get _away_ from him.

"Don't be scared," Sasori said firmly. "They are on our side. Sakura…." He looked at her with misty eyes. "I love you."

Sakura had to work to keep the distaste out of her expression. Being told "I love you" right after getting smacked in the face and poisoned was almost too much. Instead, she bit her lip, and reached up to cup his face. He leaned in to kiss her softly, and she allowed it, trailing her hand down his cheek to the metal plate that was lodged into his wooden body where his heart should have been.

There it was, a heartbeat.

Sasori seemed to believe she was caressing him, and he deepened the kiss as her hands explored him. The metal plate was more like a canister, a container for his human heart, one of the last human parts of him. She sighed into his kiss. This would be too easy. It would feel like murder.

Sasori pulled back, emotion in his face. Sakura looked deeply into his eyes, her hand still over his heart.

"I can hear your heart beating," She whispered in wonderment.

"It's always been yours," Sasori breathed.

Sakura held his gaze as she released her hold on his heart, backed her hand up just a few inches.

Then she summoned all of her chakra-aided strength into her small fist and smashed his heart with enough force to reduce it to dust.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Note: I just want to say thank you to all of the people who have reviewed my story. I started reading and writing fanfiction just a couple of years ago and I've been really impressed with how thoughtful other fans are. I read every review and it means something to me that you take the time to let me know you are enjoying my story. Knowing I have people waiting for the next chapter keeps me accountable to finish the story and makes coming back to the keyboard every morning fun. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it!

Death

The sound was deafening, or maybe she was just hearing the explosions and shouts from outside. Sasori's eyes went wide and his face went slack in shock. Sakura's fist had punched right through its protective casing and shattered the heart within. Red and purple liquid oozed from around her hand, which was now stuck in the shattered canister.

Sasori's head leaned forward, his forehead almost touching hers. He was still holding her in his lap. He gasped, eyes wide, as his body began to shake.

"Sak...Sakura…" He said. Hating herself for her weakness, Sakura began to cry.

"I'm sorry," She said. "I had to. I don't want to be a part of whatever this is." She flexed her fingers reflexively and realized that her hand was more or less holding the remnants of his heart together. When she let go to rip her hand out of the shell, he would die.

"Now I can't….protect you…." Sasori said, his voice wheezing and wet.

"I'll be fine," Sakura said. "I'll find Tsunade."

"You have to get out," Sasori said. Sakura became aware of his hands, which were still wrapped around her. He tightened his grip slightly, as though he was offering her an embrace. She brought her free hand up to his face.

"Are you ready?" She asked. "When I move, it'll be over."

"Kakashi."

Sakura blinked. That was not an answer to her question. Sasori coughed and purple blood dribbled out of his mouth. Sakura's insides froze as she stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "You have to go to him," Sasori said finally. Sakura shook her head.

"Kakashi's dead, Sasori," She said softly. "You were there when they told me."

"Wasn't dead. Captured." Sasori said, holding her gaze. "Captured by my leader. As of my last communication….he was alive."

Sakura gasped but had no more time to process this news. An explosion shook the palace, and cracks laced their way up through the stone walls of their room. There was only one heartbeat of silence before the exterior wall exploded, throwing Sakura and Sasori apart. Sakura's hand was ripped from his chest as she used her chakra to dodge as much rubble as possible. Cool night air settled in the aftermath and Sakura stood in her ruined room, now lacking a wall, and stared at the chaos outside. Dozens of summons were marauding around the city, and she could see ninja spread thin, vainly attempting to keep black-cloaked enemies at bay. Heart hammering, she frantically checked for the source of the explosion and found one of her former bodyguards lodged in the rubble at the edge of the room. He was dead, and his body had been thrown with such force that it brought the whole wall down.

As Sakura looked around for Sasori, Kakashi's ninja training kicked back into gear. She ruthlessly shut off her emotions and cleared her mind. There was a battle at hand, but she also had a chance to find her most trusted ally, the person she loved most in the world. She summoned as much chakra as she could to clear the rubble at the back end of the room until she found what she was looking for. Sasori had been partially crushed, which was cruel, but he was still barely alive. Wasting no time, Sakura bent down and applied healing chakra to his wound.

"Don't," Sasori pleaded. "Don't prolong it...it hurts."

"Tell me where Kakashi is," Sakura said. "How do I find him?"

"He's in the forest on the outskirts of the fire country." Sasori said, his voice fading. "There's a prison underground. It's well hidden but thinly guarded. Take this…" He reached into his cloak with one hand and pulled out a small wooden dove with connected joins. It was like a tiny puppet. "It might be a little damaged, but it's trained to fly there. Release it when you're away from the city and it will take you there."

"Thank you," Sakura said, pocketing the small bird. She'd gotten what she wanted, and she knew she had to leave and find her mother or Tsunade, but Sasori's eyes held her in place. She didn't know what to say to him to repay him for this gift.

"When you find Kakashi," Sasori said. "Don't come back here. Don't fight my master. Just leave. He has six of the tailed beasts already…."

"Uh-huh," Sakura didn't know what exactly he was saying, so she just nodded. Sasori mustered up enough strength to grasp her hand.  
"I mean it, Sakura. He'll win. Don't fight him."

"Sasori, you know me better than that," Sakura said sadly. "You know I'll always fight."

Sasori smiled gently, but the pain was evident in his soft brown eyes.

"I _wish_ I had time to get to know you better," he amended. "I could ask you anything right now, apparently, since it's taking me an eternity to die…"

Sakura's brow furrowed in concern.

"I'm sorry, do you want me to….speed things up?" She asked. She'd never killed someone before but that didn't mean she didn't know how to end his suffering.

"Please," Sasori said simply.

Sakura leaned forward and kissed him on his smooth forehead.

"Goodbye Sasori," She whispered, summoning a chakra scalpel with her hand. She sliced his neck and for an extra measure, she incinerated the remainder of his heart. His face went slack immediately, and Sakura looked away from the sight. She stood and assessed herself and her situation.

She was wearing a blood-stained negligee. She had limited chakra use as her body still fought to control the poison she'd been dosed with. She was barefoot. Her city was being destroyed.

She hunted around on the floor and found her pink kunai. She gripped the enameled hilt and felt marginally better. It was all she really needed.

That and maybe some boots.


	26. Chapter 26

Escape

Sakura's bare feet smacked on the smooth stone floor as she sped headlong towards her old room, where she kept her boots and training clothes. One or two ninja sped past on their way out to the battle, not even stopping to stare at the pink-haired princess running practically naked down the central hall of the palace. She didn't stop sprinting until she ran headlong into Tsunade as she turned a corner.

Her teacher swore viciously as she righted herself and got a good look at the princess. Sakura was covered in blood, some of it hers, and dressed in a neglige that was falling apart so quickly it would not even look like clothing in a few minutes.

"Sakura!" Tsunade barked. "What happened to you!"

Sakura pulled a wry face at Tsunade, and glanced nervously to the small army of ninja she'd brought with her.

"You were coming to get me?"

"Are you injured?" Tsunade said, reaching towards Sakura. She backed up.

"I'm poisoned, but I think it'll be gone soon." She said. "It was Sasori. He was a member of the Akatsuki."

Tsunade swore again.

"I've got to take you to your mother," She said. "She thinks you're dead. We had reports your room exploded."

"It did, but I need something to wear…"

"I'll send someone to collect your things," Tsunade said, glancing over her shoulder at one of the ninja behind her. He nodded and disappeared. Tsunade grasped Sakura's hand. "Come on," She said. "Your mother needs you."

As they walked Tsunade briefed Sakura on all she knew about the attackers, gathered from various sources. There were a number of them; they were impossible to kill unless you got them alone, and it was likely that they were being controlled from outside. A message had been sent to Jiraiya to keep Naruto away.

"No!" Sakura gasped when she heard that part. "We _need_ Naruto!"

"They're after tailed beasts," Tsunade said. "Reports are telling us that they are asking for him. We can't just deliver him on a silver platter!"

"Naruto won't let himself be captured!" Sakura insisted. "But we need him!"

"You can tell your mother that," Tsunade said grimly as she led Sakura into the council room.

Midara's face was white and drawn, her peach-colored hair hanging loose down to her waist. She was wearing her ninja clothing, something Sakura had not seen since she was a child. She looked up as Sakura entered, and her eyes flashed beneath her metal headband. She smiled, but did not rush over to embrace her daughter. Sakura stood, holding her arms across her chest to preserve her modesty.

"Mother," She said. "What-"

"We've got to get you to safety. Is someone bringing her clothes?" Midara snapped at the ninja around her. She was leaning on the back of a stone chair looking at a map spread out on the table.

"I've sent someone, your majesty," Tsunade said. "But you should tell her what you're about to do."

Midara glared at Tsunade, who glared right back.

"What?" Sakura said. "We're under attack, why are you two fighting?"

"Tsunade thinks I'm being selfish and wants you to talk me out of it." Midara said waspishly. "But it's the only way to stop the killing."

"You won't survive it!" Tsunade snapped. "And the country needs a goddamned queen!"

"They'll _have one!_ " Midara roared back. "She's standing right next to you!"

Sakura felt cold all over.

"What's going on?" She asked. "Why isn't someone contacting Naruto?"

"I have a kekke genkai," Midara said. "I've never told you about it. I haven't had to use it in decades."

"What is it?" Sakura asked, aware of Tsunade shaking in anger beside her.

"It's like a summoning jutsu," Midara explained. "I can summon the chakra of ninja…"

"It's a death jutsu!" Tsunade said. "How do you know it will work?"

"Tsunade if you weren't the only advisor I still trust I would _murder you right now!_ " Midara yelled, voice cracking. Tsunade punched the stone table in front of her, which cracked. She flexed her shoulders irritably, but remained silent.

"My clan could summon the spirits of the dead," Midara said to Sakura, "As warriors. They cannot be killed, and they can fight for as long as the user is willing to be the conduit."

"You would be the conduit?" Sakura asked, starting to feel nervous. "But it would kill you?"

"Yes. Sakura, are you ready to lead this country?"

"No!" Sakura said desperately. "I can't stay here mother! Kakashi is alive!"

Silence feel briefly in the room. Tsunade turned slowly to look at Sakura. "Sasori told me," Sakura continued. "He gave me the location. They've been keeping him alive. I have to go!"

"You can't go," Midara said, her face pinched. "You don't know if he was telling the truth. Tenzou saw him die."

"Tenzou _lied_!" Sakura yelled. "Call for Naruto, don't give up your life! Let me get Kakashi! He can help us. He knows this enemy!"

"That's no solution!" Tsunade burst out. "If Kakashi's been in prison this whole time he won't be in any condition to help."

"They'll kill him once they win here," Sakura guess. "They won't have a reason to keep him alive."

"It's probably his fault that they're even here!" Midara said. "If he stayed alive, they interrogated him. They knew how to breach our defenses...defenses he designed!"

"He would never have done that!" Sakura insisted. "Mother...don't do this to me."

"I don't have a choice," Midara said. "You have to stay alive. You are the hope and the future of our clan, of our kingdom. Tsunade," the Queen's attention turned to her advisor.

"Yes?"  
"Take Sakura to the bunker at the edge of the city, the one next to the grain silo. Wait there for someone to come get you. If I'm lucky, I can destroy them. If they win, you'll be poised to escape with Sakura and rendezvous with Naruto and Jiraiya."

"Understood."

Sakura protested, but no one listened to her. She was manhandled into her hold ninja clothing and boots, and ushered out of the room. Tsunade and four ninja accompanied her to the east wing of the palace, where a hidden door might get them outside of the grounds without drawing the attention of the enemy.

They burst out onto the street, which was basically just rubble with a few bodies strewn around. The ninja closed in around Sakura, hands on her arms and back, ushering her down the street as quickly as possible and acting as human shields. Tsunade busted a path through the rubble with her fists.

The attack came from an orange haired ninja with strange piercings. He took out most of the ninja surrounding Sakura. Tsunade grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and saved them by pounding through a wall and then down to a basement.

They continued underground. The last ninja bodyguard stayed behind to hold off another black-cloaked enemy and Tsunade and Sakura continued on their own, desperately trying to stay hidden so they could reach the bunker without pursuit. All around, buildings crumbled and people screamed. Sakura's breath burned in her chest as she ran, Tsunade's hand on the nape of her neck, ducking her reflexively every time an explosion rang out.

They reached the edge of the city before they encountered one of the summons rampaging the village, a huge dog with six or seven heads. It lunged at them, snapping angrily. Tsunade and Sakura found a brief respite behind a collapsed wall.

"Go," Tsunade said, blood pouring down her face. Sakura's head felt muzzy. When had Tsunade gotten injured?

"Go where?" Sakura said numbly. Tsunade readied herself for battle, checking her shoes and tying her belt more securely around her waist.

"It looks like this is the end," She said grimly, eyes trained on the dog. "Look up," she gestured to the sky. Sakura saw black cloaked figures soaring through the air, away from the village. "They're leaving." Tsunade said. "Something's about to happen. Don't get in the bunker-get out of the village."

"But Tsunade!" Sakura said, although she was already stepping away and hating herself for it.

"Find Kakashi if you can," Tsunade said. "Ah-there she is…"

Sakura felt the surge of chakra just as Tsunade said it. Armies of ghostly ninja were pouring from the palace into the streets, overwhelming the summons left behind. More power surged above her and she could feel the explosion about to take place.

"GO!" Tsunade roared, and Sakura ran, slipping out of the east gate and into the forest just as she felt everything she'd ever known behind her disappear into rubble.


	27. Chapter 27

Arrival

Naruto tossed and turned.

He tossed.

He turned again.

He smacked Jiraiya a few times to get the old man to stop snoring.

It didn't work. He sighed and lay on his back, staring at the night sky.

Something was making him uneasy, and that didn't happen often. But he had a funny feeling in the back of his neck, like someone was watching him. It made him want to frown and pull his head into the collar of his shirt. And hit someone.

He sat up in a meditation stance, flipping the tip of his nighthat to the back. He might as well practice meditating and gathering nature energy. He'd only just learned to use sage mode so maybe it would be good to practice.

 _Awww._ Dammit. There was nothing for it. He couldn't concentrate. He pulled his knees up and hugged them, willing the awful feeling to go away. He was just about to wake up Jiraiya and ask him about it when the old pervy sage spoke into the dark night.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" He said from his pallet. He sat up and brushed his huge mass of white hair over his shoulder.

"Pervy sage! I thought you were asleep!" Naruto said, "I mean you were snoring and everything."

Jiraiya smiled and waved a hand nonchalantly.

"Oh that? That's all for show. A good shinobi knows how to surprise his opponent."

Naruto made a wry face but didn't comment. Just then the elderly toad Fukasaku and his wife Shima, who kept feeding Naruto worms, rushed up to the campsite.

"Jiraiya-boy!" Fukasaku gasped, "I must speak with you, ah...er, alone."

Naruto wrinkled his face. Why were people always wanting to keep him in the dark? Jiraiya punched him lightly on the arm.

"Don't look so sour. Why don't you go with Shima for a few minutes?"

"Oh yes! I made some stew you might like!" Shima exclaimed. Naruto slumped after her, making a show of his reluctance. As Shima entered the small house she shared with her husband, he quickly summoned a shadow clone and sent him back towards Jiraiya and the old toad.

They were talking in whispers and for a few moments Naruto couldn't get close enough to hear. He scaled a giant flat leaf and managed to level his weight so that his dipped low enough to hear but not so low as to be noticeable.

"...got to keep him away," Fukasaku was saying. Jiraiya hummed in thought.

"But if the village is under attack, we should be there," He said. "I think she's underestimating how much Naruto has learned. He was just a kid when he left."

"Naruto is rash, Jiraiya-boy," Said the toad. "You do not want to put him in harm's way when they are after him. If his friends are in danger he will act without thinking."

"Naruto only _seems_ like he's an idiot," Jiraiya replied. "He never acts without thinking."

"Well regardless, our orders are clear."

"Keep him away."

"Yes."

"That's going to be difficult," Jiraiya sighed, "Considering now he's going to pester me until I tell him what your message was."

"Tell him a lie," Fukasaku suggested offhand.

"He'll know I'm lying." Jiraiya said grimly, "Because he's got a clone hiding on that leaf right NARUTO?"

Naruto released the jutsu and his clone dissipated. Attention no longer split between two places, he looked down at his bowl of worm stew and waited for Jiraiya to come tell him what was up.

He had made it through half the bowl before the pervy sage showed up, stepping into the house and cuffing Naruto as he passed.

"What was it?" Naruto said without preamble. "Why do they want to keep me away? Away from where?"

"Konoha," Jiraiya said. "It's under attack, from the Akatsuki. They're looking for you."

Naruto leapt up, spilling his bowl.

"We have to go!" He exclaimed. "I can't let them get hurt for me! I've learned sage mode; I can fight!"

"I know boy," Jiraiya said. "But I'm under orders to keep you here and safe. I don't think the Akatsuki can get to Mount Myoboku."

"You're not going to follow those orders are you?" Naruto yelled. "I have to help!"

"I know," Jiraiya said. "So we'll go. I have people there I want to see too. But if we get in trouble with the queen, I'm blaming it all on you."

Naruto huffed as he turned back for the campsite. He had preparations to make. He needed to leave some clones in the waterfall...where were his kunai knives…

Jiraiya stopped him as he shuffled through their campsite looking for his weapons.

"Naruto," the old sage said. "If we go, you need to be prepared,"

"For what? I'm ready to fight," Naruto said. "I've already sent two clones to the waterfall...I'll be able to-"

"People have already died," Jiraiya said. "It's bad. They waited too long to tell me."

"Then let's go!" Naruto said. Jiraiya nodded, shouldered his scroll, and they were gone.

 **Sakura was stumbling** around the forest just outside of the city walls, unable to hold herself straight, tears streaming down her face. Searching frantically in the pack she'd been given, she found Kakashi's dented headband and her pink kunai. She held both in her hands as though they could save her from what was happening.

She'd made it outside the walls just moments after Tsunade had sacrificed herself, and then a huge explosion had ripped through the city, leaving it utterly destroyed. Sakura was not in a position to see the whole city but from the plume of dust and smoke she knew everything she knew was probably gone, and everyone. Her ears rang with the sound of the blast and she had trouble staying upright. She stumbled and held herself next to a tree, trying to pull herself together. Was everyone she knew dead?

She told herself Tsunade had had time to summon Katsuyu, that perhaps everyone was okay. It didn't help. She knew Tsunade had not been prepared for a summons; she was barely holding back the enemy when she urged Sakura to run for safety.

Sakura crumpled up in a heap and cried, exhausted and scared and sure she would die right there in that spot.

"Naruto," She cried out, thinking of the only person she knew who could save the city. "Naruto!"

"Sakura-chan! Ooomhp!"

Sakura had no time to recognize his yell before he came soaring out of to sky to land directly on top of her. She yelped and rolled and they ended up in a tangle of limbs and jackets and giant scrolls.

"Naruto don't kill the girl for gods sake!" She heard a familiar voice ring out. "Get off of her!"

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto yelped uncomfortably close to her head. Sakura ignored the ringing in her ears and threw her arms around the blonde boy's neck.

"Naruto!" She gasped through her tears. "Naruto….the city…"

"We know," Jiraiya said grimly, pulling Naruto back up. "That's why we're here."

"They're after Naruto," Sakura said. "My mother ordered you kept away. How did you find out?"

"They underestimated my loyalty to the queen," Jiraiya said with a rakish grin. "I only really answer to Tsunade."

Sakura felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She stared, ashen-faced, at Jiraiya's cheerful expression. His grin faded a little bit.

"Jiraiya…" Sakura began, wondering if he would react the way she had. Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. At least she'd stopped crying; that was something.

"No," Jiraiya said, reading the truth on her face.

 _That's what I said too,_ Sakura thought, shaking her head sadly and looking down. Naruto stayed silent. A few more moments passed in silence as each of them considered those whom they had lost. Then Jiraiya scrubbed his face with his hands and groaned.

"Shit, that hurts," He said, but Sakura wasn't sure what he was referring to. Naruto wiped his teary eyes and grabbed Sakura in a bone-cracking hug.

"I missed you Sakura-chan," He said.

"I missed you too Naruto," Sakura. "But we need you now."

"I know," Naruto said. He straightened up and Sakura saw a new power in his eyes. He had been so young when he left and she'd only seem him intermittently since then. He had grown up.

"Don't go back into the city," Jiraiya warned. He seemed to have aged ten years in the last few minutes. "Wait here while we finish this off."

"No, pervy sage," Naruto said, and there was a new note in his voice. He sounded almost...commanding. "Stay here with Sakura. She's going to be queen. We can't leave her on her own. Let me go."

Sakura could tell that Jiraiya wanted to argue by the stubborn set of his posture, but Naruto gave him a solemn look and he nodded.

"Be safe," He said.

"You too," Naruto said, and he leapt up and over the city walls, speeding towards the epicenter of the blast.


	28. Chapter 28

Pain

Looking back, Sakura wasn't sure how she managed to keep her head during that time. She supposed she had been in shock, having watched nearly everyone and everything she loved go up in flames. While she and Jiraiya crouched in the underbrush, occasionally wincing at the sound of explosions coming from the city, she kept herself together by counting to one hundred, and then two hundred, and then three. Jiraiya wrapped an arm around her and spoke to her occasionally, but she was too distracted to notice what he was saying. He sued genjutsu to hide their location and they waited.

Tears escaped Sakura's eyes occasionally, but she didn't really cry. She was all cried out. She sighed, and tried to listen to what Jiraiya was saying.

"...heard about Kakashi a while back. I'm sorry." He said. "Knew that boy when he was little."

"He's not dead," Sakura said automatically, staring at the city wall with glassy eyes. More explosions ripped through the atmosphere, causing the ground beneath them to shake. Jiraiya tightened his grip on her, ostensibly to whisk her away to safety should things take a turn for the worse.

 _Worse than what?_ Sakura thought to herself grimly, and almost laughed at her bad luck.

"We had news months ago…"Jiraiya was saying.

"He's not dead," Sakura said again. "When this all over I'm going to go get him."

Jiraiya patted her head, and hummed soothingly like she was some kind of mental patient.

"I know what you're going through," He said softly.

"I'm not _going through_ anything," Sakura replied through gritted teeth. "Kakashi was captured and I have confirmation that he survived."

"Confirmation from where?" Jiraiya asked.

"My husband was a member of the Akatsuki," Sakura said, not really feeling like explaining further. Jiraiya coughed a few times, and hesitated before he spoke.

"Ah...I guess we have been away for a while," He said carefully. Sakura shrugged from the shelter of his arm, and he squeezed her and rubbed her shoulder a little bit. She might have thought he was being "pervy" as Naruto would say, but she didn't have time to address it, because a huge explosion rippled through the ground again. Jiraiya shot up, staring at the sky. Sakura followed his gaze and gasped.

It looked like Naruto had let the Kyuubi loose.

"That _fool,_ " Jiraiya moaned. Sakura grasped his hand and they stood, watching the aerial battle between the Kyuubi and the orange-haired Akatsuki.

Tsunade moaned, feeling her lack of chakra like a thousand tiny knives. She'd summoned Lady Katsuyu in just enough time to save many people from the Akatsuki's explosion, but it had expended her chakra to a breaking point. She was barely conscious, having been carried by some palace ninja to the highest point in the city. Midara's body lay nearby, shrouded in white cloth someone had scrounged up from somewhere. Tsunade was now the highest ranking shinobi in the city, and all of the troops were looking to her for orders.

She watched the battle raging above her with a sinking heart. Naruto had given himself over to the power of the nine tails. She looked at the scared, white faces of the ninja around her. They knew what this meant. They would likely all die. Tsunade didn't have enough chakra to protect the lives of the people. Midara was dead. They had no more options. Everything centered on Naruto, and it looked like he was about to unleash the fox on them all.

Tsunade screwed her eyes shut, waiting for the fox to emerge fully. It was nearly fully fleshed. Then a shout rang out from around her, and she looked up again. The ninja on the rooftop were laughing, crying, hugging each other. She narrowed her eyes and saw the blue flash of a rasengan, Naruto's signature move. She'd only seen it once before, but she knew what it meant. He was human again. Somehow, he's managed to survive and beat back the nine tails.

It was over. Tsunade smiled, closed her eyes, and dropped into a deep coma.

Sakura stumbled back into the city behind Jiraiya, who was tearing through the rubble like a madman.

As soon as they had seen the nine tails disappear Jiraiya had wanted to go back into the city. They'd vaulted over the damaged wall and began making their way to the center of the city, where a lone building stood out among the rubble.

It wasn't until they reached the roof of the building that Sakura realized the purpose behind Jiraiya's haste. Tsunade was there, somehow, but she looked unconscious. A number of other shinobi were milling about on the roof. Two of them knelt beside Midara, who was sitting up and looking dazed. Naruto clamored up to the position, his entrance greeted by cheers.

"Naruto! What happened to you!" Sakura cried.

"Is everybody okay!" Naruto gasped. "He told me he….he made it sound like everyone would be okay!"

"Who?" Sakura asked, just as several ninja burst onto the roof gasping. One of them was crying.

"They're alive!" He said, turning to the queen who leaned against an advisor. "People all over the city...people who were dead!"

Midara dropped her head into her hands, overcome. Sakura rushed over to her mother and fell to her knees. They reached for one another. Sakura could feel her mother's tears on her shoulder. Naruto sat down with a hard thump.

"Whew!" He said. "I knew he wouldn't lie to me, but anyway...it's good to know…"

"Somebody get some water!" Jiraiya's voice rang out. "She's not waking up!"

Sakura and Midara released each other, and turned to see Jiraiya carrying Tsunade in his arms. His face was still tense and white, and he wasn't crying like so many of the others. Tsunade was deeply unconscious.

"She used Katsuyu," Midara said, her voice rasping. "To keep everyone alive when the first blast hit, didn't she? That's too much chakra-"

"Get out of my WAY!" Jiraiya roared as several ninja attempted to relieve him of his burden. He tucked Tsunade against his body possessively. "Where are the medical ninja?"

"I can help," Sakura said shakily, "Let's get her inside. Is this building sound?"

Four hours later and the rebuilding had already begun. Tenzou, who'd arrived in the middle of the battle, erected rows of temporary homes for refugees to settle in. Sakura ordered Tsunade taken into the council building, the only large building still standing, and had a room set up like a hospital. She attended to her former teacher as best she could, healing the muscle strain and the damaged tissues that resulted from overextending one's chakra. The chakra itself she could not replenish; only time could do that. Sakura left Tsunade's side only long enough to eat, wash, and change.

Jiraiya hovered, anxious and white-faced, refusing to leave when Sakura tried to explain to him that it could be a long time before Tsunade woke, if she ever woke at all. He held Tsunade's limp hand and gently brushed her honey-brown hair away from her pale face.

"I didn't know you felt like that about Tsunade," Sakura murmured, not caring if she was being rude. She was too tired to care.

"Ah, well...she never cared much for me," Jiraiya responded, his eyes trained on Tsunade as she slept. "In fact if she woke up now she'd probably pound me into oblivion."

"I don't know about that," Sakura said kindly. "At least you aren't groping her."

"Yeah, she never did like it when I did that…." Jiraiya muttered.

"I hate to break it to you Jiraiya but _no_ woman likes it when someone does that to her," Sakura said with a wry smile. "But I think if she woke she'd be glad you were here."

"...it should have been me." Jiraiya said softly.

Sakura turned to look at him.

"What?"

"Kakashi. It should have been me. I'm sorry."

"Jiraiya we went through this. Kakashi's alive. As soon as I get Tsunade stable I'm going to go get him. Maybe mother will send some ninja with me."

"If I were your mother," Jiraiya said, looking at Sakura directly, "I would have come in here while you were eating and told me to keep you here. If I were your mother I would be convinced that Kakashi could not be alive and worried you would go after him."

Sakura felt cold inside. She narrowed her eyes at Jiraiya. He gave her a meaningful look.

"If you were my mother you would have done that?" Sakura asked, feeling her heart race.

"Certainly. And who better to look after my daughter than a legendary Sannin." Jiraiya said. "I would have no problem ordering him to ensure you do not leave the compound."

"Ah," Sakura said uncertainly.

"But Sannin can get lazy," Jiraiya said. "And fall asleep at the oddest times. I have been put under an unusual amount of stress lately. I might even forget to strap on my weapons pouch, or secure the window."

"I see," Sakura said, looking at where he had casually dropped a pouch of ninja weapons on the floor beside him.

"And I might tell you, just in conversation, that Kakashi's ninja hounds could probably find Tenzou's old house out in the woods. Might be a good place to take refuge, if you need to hole up somewhere for a while. He's so busy here, rebuilding the city and all."

"I understand."

Jiraiya yawned, and lay down on the pallet beside Tsunade, pulling her close. Sakura almost laughed, thinking about what would happen if Tsunade woke up next to Jiraiya like that. She'd only ever complained to Sakura about how annoying Jiraiya was. True, sometimes she grew strangely flushed when she talked about him, but Sakura had always put that down to sake.

"Oh I _am_ tired," Jiraiya said, yawning again. "This isn't going to be difficult at all."

"Thank you," Sakura said, scooping up the weapons pouch and attaching it to her leg. She looked out the window; dawn was nearly here. She sighed, and looked back just once before opening the window and slipping out, using recently renewed chakra to aid her as she climbed down to an alleyway full of debris. She bit her thumb and summoned her precious ninja hounds. Pakkun and the other popped up immediately, tails wagging.

"Pakkun," Sakura whispered. "I need you to help me. We're going to get Kakashi."

Pakkun's soulful eyes filled with tears and he bumped Sakura's shin with his soft forehead.

"If we find him can we still stay contracted to you?" He said. "You are prettier and you smell nicer."

"Of course Pakkun," Sakura said. "Let's just find him first. I have something that I think will help…" And she pulled out the small bird she'd been hiding in the front of her vest. It lit up, and started to fly, and Sakura slipped after it, through the streets, heading for the forest where she believed Kakashi was hidden.


	29. Chapter 29

Rescue

Sakura was surprised at how much thought Jiraiya had put into packing his weapons pouch. Not only were there several sets of weapons and a few exploding tags, but there was a full canteen of water and a vial of soldier pills. She was grateful for the water especially. She'd been traveling through the forest for a couple of days and the canteen had a filter for purifying water from streams. She drank a lot of water as she and the dogs pounded through the wilderness, following the small bird puppet that Sasori had given her.

Getting out of the city had been easy enough. With emotions so high, most of the ninja were not at their best. Midara, who had seen visions of her lost sensei during her time in the afterlife, had been busy organizing the rebuilding efforts. Honestly, only Tsunade would have had a chance at stopping her and she was down for the count. Sakura felt guilty about leaving her behind, but there was nothing else she could do for her medically, and Jiraiya was obviously not going to leave her side until she woke up enough to assault him.

Sakura and the hounds had slipped out of a small side gate and followed the bird east and south, through the forest, towards the place where Kakashi was being held. It had been two days.

Sakura had saved the soldier pills for emergencies, opting to roast the squirrels Pakkun brought her over a hastily made fire. She had slept only once, burrowed in a pile of ninja hounds who all felt their continued presence was a requirement for this mission. She did not allow herself to consider the possibility that Kakashi would no longer be there when she arrived. She dwelled only on his face, the memory of his smile hidden behind his mask, the way his heartbeat sped up when she tended to his wounds, the way he used to bump her temple with his nose like he himself was some kind of ninja hound. She set aside all thoughts of the husband she'd destroyed, and the home she'd nearly lost, and trained all of her thoughts on Kakashi. Konoha would survive, especially now that Naruto was back. The Queen had died and lived again; she would only grow more powerful as news of her sacrifice and resurrection spread throughout the neighboring kingdoms. Sakura had given everything that she could give to her mother, to the kingdom. She'd married a man she barely knew, she given her best effort to consummate that marriage, to provide an heir, to forget about the man she loved and the suffering he must have endured.

But no more. After a night of restless sleep, Sakura and the hounds rose, she launched the bird again, and they continued on to the place where Kakashi waited for her, had been waiting for nearly a year.

Kakashi swore.

At least he swore in his mind. He was too weak to do much else.

Well, he wasn't at death's door, but he definitely wasn't at his best. Belly-crawling to the nearest stream had not exactly been the high point of his life, but his thirst had brought him to his knees, literally. He'd scrounged around for food off an on, once he's slaked his thirst with water that was sure to give him some kind of disease, but he couldn't find much. It was a vicious cycle: He needed food in order to replenish his chakra, but his lack of chakra made getting food much more difficult. He did catch a fish or two, and that helped. Traveling through the woods at any kind of speed was out of the question, so he chose to stick close to the stream he'd found and try to catch enough food to make up for the months of captivity and chakra-depletion.

He was currently swearing at the taste of the world's most sour apple, knowing he had to keep eating it no matter how nasty it was. He was normally pretty easy-going about food, but lately all he could think about was food. He wanted piles of rice and mountains of sushi, roast, noodles, desserts. He wanted everything drenched in soy sauce. And he wanted a bed, a real bed, and he wanted to go home.

Kakashi munched on the apple and assessed his surroundings as he did hourly. He was seated at the base of a maple tree, within sight of his stream, not far enough from the collapsed prison for comfort. He had counted three days since his escape from the prison, and he thought he was roughly two or three days to Konoha, although he wasn't as sure about that as he would like to be. Traveling was still difficult; his limbs were stiff with disuse and his joints were creaky and uncomfortable. He knew he was still slightly malnourished, because whenever he stood upright for any length of time he grew dizzy and nauseated.

Ah, he was being watched. Add that to the list.

Kakashi swore in his mind again, but continued chomping on the apple, willing his heart rate to stay under control. Whoever it was would likely be interested in killing him. He was so close to the prison. It was probably someone who worked for Madara. Maybe this is why he'd gotten out so easily.

A shuriken whizzed near, and Kakashi caught it on the metal plating of his glove. His heart sank; whoever had thrown the shuriken had known about his blind spot. It was the Akatsuki.

"Hatake Kakashi," Came a smooth voice, and Kakashi gave up on his apple and turned his head towards the

voice. A man in jet black robes greeted him, but he was unlike any man Kakashi had seen. His skin was gray and smooth, like that of a shark. He sported gills, and carried an enormous sword. Kakashi sighed. This one would not be easy to kill.

"And who are you?" Kakashi answered cheerfully, chucking his apple towards the stream. He stayed seated.

"Maybe I'll tell you later," the ninja said. "Maybe once I bring you back to my master I will let you know who I am."

"Now that," Kakashi said, using the tree at his back to support him as he stood, "Is a really weird thing to say."

"Shut your mouth. I'm under orders to bring you back in, Hatake."

"Well see there's our problem," Kakashi said, shrugging, "Because I have no intention of going back in."

"I can kill you," the dark ninja said thoughtfully, stroking the handle of his sword. "But my master would not be pleased. You are the key to his plan."

"And there you go, telling me everything." Kakashi groaned. "Don't you guys keep any secrets?"

"You don't want to fight me," the ninja said, "You can barely stand. If you fight you die. Come with me and here what my master has to say."

"Oh, uh, sure." Kakashi said. "But I'm having trouble walking so…."

The ninja stared at him.

"Are you asking me to carry you?"

"Uh, yeah. I talked to Madara I'm more or less on board with his plan. Just couldn't stand being locked up anymore. Why do you think I stayed so close to the prison? I wasn't even trying to get away."

Kakashi kept his eyes trained on the grey-skinned ninja as he stalked closer, uncertainty in his steps. Damn the sharingan. How long had it been since he'd fought without it? It itched underneath its scar.

As soon as the enemy was close enough, Kakashi leapt and kicked him soundly in the head. He had precious little chakra to add to the kick, but he did the best he could. He stayed in as close as possible to his opponent, preventing him from making contact with a sword that was definitely, somehow, alive.

"My sword eats chakra!" The ninja crowed. "And he will eat yours until you're nothing!"

"That's a shame," Kakashi said, twisting and smacking the ninja full in his flat face. "Because I'm pretty much already out of chakra."

The fight continued for longer than Kakashi liked. He got a sword to the gut once or twice but luckily the blade was meant more for bludgeoning and not for cutting. Kakashi fought like a wind, raining punches and kicks at a speed that would make even his childhood rival, Guy, jealous. He had very little chakra to rely on, and with his sharingan sealed, he could only win this battle with his taijutsu.

But it wasn't enough. He began to fade. He got dizzy, missed a hit, ended up flat on his back with a grey-skinned ninja in a black cloak crouched over his threateningly. The guy looked pretty bad himself, Kakashi thought with no small amount of pride. If he had been up against this ninja when healthy, he would have trounced him. But it didn't matter. He wasn't healthy; he'd been imprisoned and starved for months and had only days to recover without enough food. He had no chance.

The ninja fisted Kakashi's shirt, and Kakashi felt a sick thrill of panic pour through his body at the thought of being imprisoned and tortured again, but he narrowed his single eye defiantly as the ninja began to hoist him.

Just then a small, pale hand appeared around the ninja's neck. It was holding a pink kunai. It slipped around his neck like a lover's. Kakashi watched as it swiftly dug into the shark-like skin.

The enemy's black eyes widened, and he jerked backwards. The movement only served to expedite his execution, as the kunai slipped straight across the plane of his neck. He shuddered, and fell backwards. Kakashi heard an undignified squeak as he landed on top of whomever had just killed him.

Kakashi's heart raced madly now, and he felt short of breath for the first time in his life. He scrambled over to the body and pushed it over, rolling it to the side with a grunt. Once he's cleared the bloody body away, all he could see was her.

Sakura lay on the ground, her green eyes wide and her hands stained with blood. She reached up towards his face when she saw him, her eyes filling with tears.

"Sakura," He managed. Her hand trailed blood on his cheek.

"Don't ever…." She gasped, tears streaking down her face. "...leave me again."


	30. Chapter 30

Reunion

Sakura's composure shattered as she allowed Kakashi to pull her upright and into his arms. She buried her face in his shirt and held onto him as tightly as possible, feeling his bones beneath the fabric, testament to his months-long imprisonment. Every muscle in her body, every cell was lit up as soon as she felt his touch. She could feel his face pressed against her hair, hear his ragged breathing. She knew he must be tired, he might be wounded, but he was alive. He was alive. He was here. She had found him.

"Kakashi-" She said through her tears, wanting to tell him so many things and not sure where to start.

"I know," Kakashi murmured into her hair. His arms were wrapped around her, his hands gripping her sides. Warmth flooded into her body. She brought her arms from around his back and pushed on his chest slightly. He backed up enough for her to see his face.

She'd never seen it before. His jaw was strong and his lips were thin and stubborn. He was beautiful. Her fingers, now crusted with blood, ghosted over the planes of his cheekbones. He reddened slightly, but he didn't stop her. Her fingers found his eye, or rather the place where his eye should have been. She gently stroked the scarred skin, and he closed his other eye and shuddered, dropping his head down to her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him again. When he started trembling, she lowered them both to the ground, where they sat still wrapped in each other's arms. It felt so good, so unbelievably right to be with him again.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, his voice muffled as his face was pressed to her neck.

"For what?" Sakura murmured, running a hand through his hair, which-she realized-could probably use a good wash.

"I didn't keep my promise."

Sakura remembered the day she'd made him promise he would come back. She'd been nervous, unusually nervous, about his mission. She had just received news that she was to marry some idiot for political reasons and she wanted him around more than ever. Then he'd gone and never returned.

"It's okay," She whispered. "I didn't keep my promise either."

"I know," Kakashi sighed. His voice was raspy and hoarse, like he hadn't used it in a long time, even though she'd just heard him talking to the Akatsuki.

They stayed there for a few minutes, until Pakkun and the hounds decided they'd had privacy for long enough. Sakura had to struggle to keep Kakashi upright underneath the pile of enthusiastic dogs, all yelping and licking and wagging their tails. Pakkun snuggled into Kakashi's lap and looked up at him with his sad eyes.

"You disappeared," he said reproachfully to Kakashi.

"I'm sorry buddy," Kakashi said.

"We belong to Sakura now," Pakkun said cautiously, almost like a question.

"I know, it's okay Pakkun," Kakashi said, locking eyes with Sakura. "I belong to her now too."

Jiraiya was right; the dogs did have a good sense of where Tenzou's last home had been. They found it in just a few hours. Kakashi was too weak to do much, especially after his fight, so Sakura carried him on her back, using chakra to support his weight. She and the dogs had rolled the body of the Akatsuki into a crevice she created before they left, and she'd spared an hour to heal Kakashi of most of his bruises and fractures before hoisting him over her back. Every bone in one of his hands was broken and had healed wrong. It took a while to set it right, and it would need more attention later. Kakashi didn't grumble about being carried by a woman, but every half hour or so they stopped and he walked on his own until he felt weak again.

They arrived at the house, neatly hidden at the bottom of a ravine, just as the sun was setting.

Sakura was jumpy, knowing that the Akatsuki would likely figure out that their operative had not returned, and she wasn't sure what they wanted with Kakashi. But he was too weak to get back to Konoha, and she had to get him some decent food.

She set Pakkun out hunting and the other dogs set up a perimeter around the house. Kakashi _did_ grumble when she wouldn't let him lie down in the bed immediately, but she didn't know if Tenzou had spare sheets and Kakashi hadn't had a wash in a year.

"I'll be fine if I just sleep some," He said from where she'd set him on the floor.

"You can sleep once you get washed and eat," Sakura replied, scouting around the small house. It was just a single room with a bed, small kitchen area, and a bathroom at the back of the house. Everything in the house was made of wood except the futon. Even the sinks were shiny, polished wood. Faucets too. She turned on the shower head and felt the water heat up.

"I know his jutsu can create and manipulate wood," She called out to Kakashi, "But how does he make indoor plumbing?"

"Ah, no idea." Kakashi replied, his voice slightly muffled. Sakura leaned out the door and saw that he'd stretched out face-down on the polished wood floors.

"Kakashi don't you fall asleep on me," She said warningly. "You have a year's worth of grime on you…"

"I'm not sleeping I was killing a bug," Came the reply from the floor.

"With your face?"

"Well my arms were tired."

"Oh god. Come on." Sakura tested the water again and finding it hot enough, she went back to help Kakashi up, who had thankfully only been joking about squashing a bug with his face.

"You are the worst nurse ever."

"Well I'm the nurse that saved your life," Sakura replied, pulling one of his arms over her shoulder and expending a small amount of chakra to stand with him and walk him to the bathroom.

Kakashi only wheezed a little, which Sakura figured might have been a laugh. She smiled as she angled him through the door of the bathroom. Being with him was so good, even if he was so gaunt it scared her and he smelled like he'd bathed in sludge.

Of course, once she got him into the bathroom, it became alarmingly clear that he was not going to be able to stand in the shower on his own. He had trouble even lifting his shirt over his head. She helped him remove it, and when the fabric fell away they were both blushing.

"Uh...I got this," Kakashi said softly. "Is there soap?"

"You don't got this, Kakashi," Sakura said, running her hand down his chest, looking askance at his ribs. "Look at you."

"I'll be fine," Kakashi said, voice husky.

"You can barely stand..."

"Well somebody wouldn't let me nap before my shower..."

Sakura bit her lip and stepped back from him long enough to unzip her vest and let it fall to the floor next to Kakashi's shirt. She unhooked her belt and let that fall too. Kakashi reached for her, holding her wrist as she fingered the waistband of her skirt. "Sakura, don't…" He said, "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do. You'll never be able to get clean on your own," She replied with a nervous smile. She was still blushing furiously but there was no way around it. "Come on Kakashi," She said. "Let me help you."

"That's not a good idea…" Kakashi said, almost gritting his teeth. He was determinedly not looking at her.

"Why not?" Sakura asked, slipping out of her shorts and skirt. His hand stayed at her waist, his fingers now gently stroking soft skin, as if he was unable to pull his hand away. "Just don't think about it…" She said. "Besides, I could use a wash too."

"God, Sakura…" Kakashi moaned. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Sakura just smiled and eased Kakashi out of the rest of his clothing. There were a few awkward moments, like when he almost fell over while she was pulling off his boots (and she was almost falling over because of the smell) and when they clearly got their signals crossed about who was going to remove who's underwear. Kakashi turned his back on her when she pulled her bra and panties off, but he had to face her as she helped him into the shower.

For the first few minutes of the shower, everything was fine. Kakashi was so unbelievably grimy that the task of scrubbing him clean superseded any sexual tension that might have distracted them. There was something cathartic about the process. He was tired, but he did his best to hang in there so she could get him clean. He leaned an arm against the wall of the shower and stood under the spray while she used a washcloth and soap, first on his face, then down his chest and arms. She reached up to lather soap through his hair, and the tips of her breasts brushed his bare chest. She felt him shudder, but he managed to hold his arms at his sides.

Under his arms, down his legs, his feet. Carefully Sakura cleaned all of it, soaping and rinsing until the water ran clear. She cleaned behind his ears as a final touch, and he draped an arm loosely around her waist as she worked.

Once she was done she allowed him to lather her own hair up, and while she stood under the spray to rinse, she felt his fingers gently trail the path of the water down her breasts.

She turned the shower off when she was done and tossed Kakashi a towel to dry himself with. They made their way out of the bathroom, both still naked, and over to the futon. Sakura used one the of the sheets to wrap around herself, but Kakashi just laid down on the soft pallet.

"Sleep," She told him. "I'll wake you when I have something ready for you to eat."

Kakashi nodded and rolled over. In moments he was asleep.

Sakura washed their clothing in the shower spray while she waited for Pakkun to return. She had just wrung them out and laid them out to dry when the pug came in dragging a couple of squirrels he'd killed. Sakura stripped and cleaned them and set them in the wood-burning stove (an appliance which seemed like an unnecessary risk in a house like this). She rummaged through the cabinets and found the means to make tea and a few packages of dried noodles. Kakashi slept as she worked, curled up on the futon with Pakkun.

Once the meal was ready, it took several abusive minutes to wake Kakashi up enough to sit up and eat. He declared her cooking above average, and praised Pakkun for his hunting skills. Sakura ate only a little. With night looming, she eyed the single pallet on the floor and felt suddenly nervous.

Kakashi felt he was doing remarkably well, considering. He wasn't sure what was worse; being attacked, imprisoned, and tortured for nearly a year or having to shower with the woman he'd fantasized about for most of that year and _not_ immediately make love to her.

His extreme exhaustion and stress had made it a little easier, but his nap and his meal had done a lot to restore him and now he was having trouble keeping his mind out of the gutter as he watched the princess putter about in the kitchen wrapped in nothing but a thin sheet. Did she know what she was doing to him? God, she looked unbelievably sexy. Like he imagined she would look after their first night together.

After a few moments of watching her rearrange a cabinet for the second time, he realized she was stalling. It was dark outside and she must have been tired. She'd picked at her food while he had basically eaten everything in the house. Tenzou would probably complain.

"Sakura," He said, sitting up against he wall. "Aren't you tired?"

"Uh, yeah." She said, sighing. Her bare shoulders tensed. She turned to face him, and she was blushing again. He realized she was nervous.

"Sakura I would never….expect anything from you…I won't touch you." Kakashi said, awkwardly. Lying next to her all night and _not_ holding her was going to be difficult, but he wasn't about to let her sleep on the floor.

"I know," She said. "I just...well," She bit her lip. "What if I told you I wanted you to?"

Kakashi's throat went dry. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he would say something eloquent like, "uhhhhhhh…" so he kept silent. Sakura tiptoed over to the bed and crept close to him on the blankets. He could smell the soap on her skin. She reached for him, and his mind caught up with his body quick enough to pull her into his arms. They bumped foreheads.

For a moment, they were still. Breathing together.

Then he kissed her.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: citrus warning

Love

If Kakashi had hoped to keep the kiss chaste, he had no chance. As soon as his lips met hers, Sakura sighed sweetly and opened her mouth, and suddenly there was nothing in the world but her, and her lips, and her tongue shyly meeting his as he hungrily deepened the kiss. Every part of him ached for her. He gathered her closer. The sheet she was wrapped in fell to her waist, and although he didn't break away to look at her, as he kissed her Kakashi ran his knuckles softly from her collarbone down the point of her breasts. He gently stroked her pink nipples with his thumbs, and spread his long fingers over her ribcage. She arched into him and shuddered, breaking their kiss.

They looked at each other. Kakashi tried, and failed, not to look below her face.

"You're beautiful," He said, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of her rumpled from his kiss, half wrapped in a sheet.

When his eyes met hers again, she was blushing scarlet and still breathing heavily.

"I...I don't know where to go from here," She whispered.

"What do you want?" Kakashi asked softly, knowing they were in dangerous territory. Sakura shook her head silently, closing her eyes. Kakashi stroked her face. "Sakura," He whispered with more confidence. "I want you."

She opened her green eyes.

"But I don't want you to do something you'll regret," He went on. "So that's why I'm asking."

"I would never regret this," Sakura breathed, "I'm just...nervous."

Kakashi leaned in and kissed her softly. "Why?" He asked.

"My husband wasn't interested in me," She whispered, looking down in shame. "I don't have...any experience."

Kakashi let this new information sink in as he kissed her again, long and soft and sweet. She responded to him slowly, scooting closer and resting a hand on his bare chest experimentally. He held her loosely around the waist.

"Would you show me?" Sakura murmured as he broke their kiss. She slipped her hand to the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair. Kakashi found he couldn't answer. He just kissed her, hoping she understood what he was not saying.

Sakura remembered dimly that it had only been a few nights since she'd rolled around with Sasori, trying to coax him into sex. As Kakashi kissed and licked and nibbled his way around her lips, her ears, her neck...she forgot all about the shame and frustration of her previous encounter.

Kakashi gently pushed her down on the futon, and set to work encouraging her to relax. She wanted him so much; the space between her legs was aching deliciously, but she was also nervous and strung tight. Kakashi was patient, sucking on her neck until she was panting, stroking and tickling her occasionally to elicit a giggle. He murmured things to her, sweet things, sexy things, occasionally things she didn't quite hear, and soon she was able to relax her legs enough for him to slip his hands in the sheet tangled around her waist. He tugged without success, she giggled and wriggled, and eventually they got her free.

Sakura was deeply mortified (and a little chilly) when Kakashi showed no signs of wanting to cover her up again. His eyes roved over her body and his face heated up. She rubbed her feet together, and reached down to cup her sex, nervous for him to see the pink curls there. He didn't stop her, but her modesty brought his face up to hers again.

"Don't be nervous," he said, his voice husky. "Sakura you're...you're stunning."

"Come here," She whispered, and Kakashi moved back to kiss her again. He tangled himself out of his own sheet as he did so, and gently fit his body to hers. Sakura gasped as his mouth dropped to work on her neck again, and she could feel his erection against her thigh. The feel of his skin against hers was incredible.

Kakashi moved lower, catching a nipple in his mouth while he gently cupped a breast with his hand. He made wet circles around the tender flesh. Sakura couldn't control the small whines that came from her mouth as Kakashi reached down slowly to stroke her stomach.

Sakura was growing damp between her legs, and she felt a deep ache that she figured only Kakashi could satisfy. She moved her hands from their protective position, grasping his wrist.

"Kakashi," She breathed, knowing he wanted to know what she wanted. "I want you to touch me,"

Kakashi hummed in response and slowly slipped a finger into her core, groaning as he felt the wet heat there. Sakura felt a surge of pleasure as his fingers deftly explored her, slipping around the folds and teasing at her entrance. He nibbled on her ear as his fingers found a rhythm against her, and Sakura could only think about how she wanted more. Cautiously, she reached down to grasp his length as it brushed her thigh, and he grunted. She stroked his shaft, which was shockingly smooth and silky on the outside, but also warm and hard. Kakashi moaned into her neck, his fingers pulled out.

"Sakura," He groaned as she grew more confident in her attentions. "I promise...I'll show you...but I need, I need you now…"

Sakura smiled, and whispered sweet words to him as he slowly moved on top of her. Her confidence wavered a little bit when she felt his tip at her entrance.

"You're so big…" She whispered, her legs closing a little bit involuntarily. Now that her hand had moved off of him Kakashi seemed more in control. He held himself aloft, but leaned down to kiss her softly.

"It'll fit," He said against her lips, "But it'll hurt too. Are you ready?"

"I just want to hold on to you," Sakura said. Kakashi nodded.

"Hold on to me as tight as you need," He said, and slowly slipped inside of her.

Sakura gasped. He was big, and her body stretched around him painfully. She clutched at his back and squeezed her eyes shut, all hazy thoughts of pleasure gone. He was in her now, fully, and he buried his face in her neck and rolled his hips.

Sakura tensed, but then he moaned, and rolled his hips again, and she found it in her to relax, listening to the sounds he was making. She felt the way his hands clutched at her desperately.

"I love you," He choked out, moving in and out of her, kissing her cheek, her mouth, her neck. Sakura relaxed, and her body seemed to adjust, and the moisture between her legs built up again so that he was sliding in and out of her with ease. And it felt good, perhaps not as good as his hand, but good nonetheless. He was wrapped up in her, she could tell, and she held on to him as his movements sped up, and he arched his back, and groaned her name, and shuddered explosively.

The ache was back, and she was slightly disappointed because it seemed as though he was done. But Kakashi didn't pull out. He stayed tightly sheathed in her, and balanced his weight on one side.

"Come here," He said softly, drawing her hand around. "I want to feel you come while I'm inside you,"

Sakura's face reddened at the comment, but she obeyed him when he drew her hand down to where they were slickly joined. She rubbed her core softly, finding the spot where she felt the most pleasure, finger brushing occasionally against the base of his penis.

Kakashi moaned and dropped his head to her shoulder, undulating his hips, growing hard again. Sakura's breath came out in ragged pants as she touched herself, groaning outright when Kakashi's hand began massaging her breast.

Sakura came with a gasp and a shudder, and Kakashi stilled as she stilled. She didn't know if he had come twice, but as his weight rested completely on her, he seemed in no hurry to do anything but rest.

They lay together for a few breaths. Kakashi slowly disengaged from her, and she curled around him, throwing a leg across his waist. His arm snaked under her waist to hold her securely to his body.

They didn't talk. Sakura didn't know what to say. Her body was aching with fatigue, and her core was also slightly sore. Eventually Kakashi broke the silence.

"Are you okay?" He said softly. "Are you sore?"

"I'm fine," Sakura answered. "I might be sore tomorrow but I think I'm okay."

Kakashi turned his face enough to kiss her forehead.

"Tomorrow," He said. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"We need to get back to the village," Sakura said with a sigh. "They don't know I left to get you."

"Oh god," Kakashi groaned. "Your mother's going to kill me."

"She might try," Sakura countered, "But I won't let her."

Kakashi grew serious then, and rolled on his side to face her.

"Sakura I don't know how to tell you this...especially because of what happened, but your husband…"

"I don't have a husband anymore," Sakura finished for him, not sure of where he was going with that.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"He was Akatsuki," Sakura said primly. "So I killed him."

Kakashi stared at her, his eye wide. It drew attention to his damaged face. Sakura traced the scar over his sharingan eye with her finger. "What did they do to you?" She whispered softly.

"Do you think you could heal it?" Kakashi asked with a lopsided smile.

"Hmmm, maybe…" Sakura said, pressing into the scar a little harder, trying to feel what was underneath. Kakashi backed away, wincing.

"Whoa, I was kidding," He said. "Sakura, they branded the eye. I'm pretty sure it's dead under there."

"Maybe," Sakura said, her eyes narrowed. "But I don't know. If I could make a chakra scalpel sharp enough, maybe I could slice through the scar tissue and heal the eye."

"Well please don't try now…" Kakashi said dramatically. "I'm too tired for major surgery."

"Yeah," Sakura sighed, dropping her hand. "I'm tired too."

They settled down again to sleep.

"Sakura?" Kakashi's voice rang out in the darkness.

"Hmm?" She was almost asleep.

"I hope you didn't think I was insulting your healing skills."

"Mmm."

"Because I used to enjoy your attentions immensely."

"Hmmmm. Pervert."

Pakkun crept in just as Sakura fell asleep. Kakashi allowed him to settle in between them.

"Missed you, Kakashi," The old hound said in a loud whisper. "She missed you too."

"I know," Kakashi said.

"But she's my ninja now so if you hurt her I'll bite your shins."

Kakashi fell asleep with a chuckle. Pakkun stayed awake, looking after his humans.


End file.
